Question asked 3 years ago
Which is more important,"to love" or "be loved"?

Both are very important. We need them to live a functional life just as we need air to survive. Love is one subject that has always drawn my attention over the years. It is one misused word that the only time some people think about love is when it is used in reference to Sex. That is why some men tell ladies to have Sex with them as a proof of their love for them. They don't know love that's why they belittle that word. If Sex was a proof of love, then every hoe and whore in the street would be the most loved and the most lovable people.

You look at people's behavior and attitude you just know that something is deficient. Just like a soup that is lacking a major ingredient; salt. It just wouldn't have that unique taste no matter how much maggi you add. Love is one very important virtue I think everyone should have. It is beauty on Its own. I think if you understand the meaning of both clauses, you will know what I mean.

What does it mean to love? It means to be on the giving side. Love is a deliberate decision to put the interest of someone else above your own whether they reciprocate it or not. It is not passive. It is not expressed only in words but more importantly in action. To love someone is to be patient with someone irrespective of their flaws. That's why I think that people who say love is blind don't know love. Love sees your flaws and weaknesses, your inabilities and still choose to love you. This is an example of what God did for mankind by sending his son Jesus to die for our sins. We weren't deserving of his love, yet he qualified us and gave his son. Love has a list of qualities as stated in 1corinthians 13:1-8. It is a complete package. No matter how wealthy we are, we are bankrupt without love. Love doesn't know colour, race or religion. There's a word for love in every language spoken by man.

When you love people,  you want the best for them because you have their best interest at heart. You want to see them succeed.  For some people,  they only love you when you are loyal to them. Their love for you stops where your loyalty to them ceases. For some others, they only love in words only. You know a person loves you not just by what they tell you but also by how they treat you. A quote once said don't tell me love, show me love because I only learn with pictures only. Anybody can say "I love You " but pushing beyond those three words to action is where they stop.

To be loved on the other hand is to be on the receiving side of love. It means to be the object or subject of someone's affection. It means to be in someone's good will thoughts. It means to be showered with care. It means to be qualified for someone's time. It's good to love but it's great to be loved in return. To be loved means that despite your faults, your flaws and weakness, someone still thinks good about you. God didn't fall in love with a future version of us. He loved us the way we are, flaws and all.

Love is such a beautiful thing, that is the reason people who are criminals still have those who love them even when they know that they are criminals. We justify scars because we love the person holding the knife. Being loved gives one a healthy sense of self esteem. Being loved adds glow to one's personality. One important quality of love is that it doesn't force itself on others. People who claim to love you but are forcefully taking from you only proves the opposite.

> Before you can have this level of affection for others, you have to have had it for yourself first because the way you love others is a clear reflection of how much you love yourself. The kind of gifts you get others out of love is an indication of how much you value yourself. Some people were not raised in love. They were raised on survival. It reflects in how they keep putting themselves before others. It is manifest in how they keep manipulating others to their own favour and that is a really disgusting and repelling attitude. Nobody needs that kind of person as a friend or as a partner.

Love doesn't choke people. Loving someone doesn't mean that you'll be all over the person until they can no longer breathe. No, that's not healthy love. When you love people, you respect their space and privacy. You don't tell people to change so that you will love them. That's manipulation. Love is flexible. It gives the object or subject of it's affection room to grow, learn and become better. Until you get comfortable with being alone, you'll never know whether you are loving someone out of love or loneliness.

Loving someone is a difficult task but not an impossible one. Loving is not just humanity as all some people have in them is hatred. It is divinity in a human person because God is divine and he is love personified. It is a beautiful thing to be loved. Its also beautiful to reciprocate and love another in return. I think crime rate will reduce in the society if we have this virtue in us. If we can all love others as much as we love ourselves.