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Will you have relatives remaining in your home or you'd favor they just come around to visit?

For me it's going to have to be the latter, I don't know about others but in my experience, there's always something very destabilising about extended family relations who come and spend time in people's houses. They tend to get too comfortable and almost always do something that will lead to somebody throwing somebody out and that's the worst thing that family can do to each other.

When they just come to visit, it can be tolerated, but if they decide to stay then most likely a problem is going to arise because they'll over stay their welcome and probably start doing things that I won't be able to tolerate any more. I love having family around, but I can only deal with them for so long.

Moreover, there's always this issue of being maltreated in the homes of your extended family that always comes up. Someone at some point is going to feel that they aren't being treated well or as well as they would if they were in their own houses and that's absurd because THEY ARENT IN THEIR OWN HOUSES and as such can't expect to be treated exactly how they'd be treated if they were in their own houses.

If you ask me, having extended family members stay too long isn't a good idea, they can come and stay for a few days, maybe a few weeks, but nothing more than that.

I hope this helps.


Personally i do not consider the option of allowing relatives or extended family members stay in my especially when I'm  married and have a family of my own.  This bias is probably because I've  been privileged to come across a lot of married people  who have shared their experiences with allowing relatives stay in their home and the outcome of their stay.  The outcome  is not always positive,  it's  either the relatives cause a rift between spouses or there is a rift with the relatives. 

I'm the kind of person that operates on a philosophy  that  believes that couples or a nuclear family shouldn't be disturbed with the presence of relatives in their lives rather  they should live their lives separately in peace and when there are family occasions they can then reunite with their relatives. 

However whenever a relative is in need of an assistance and i can assist i would but not to the detriment of my immediate family. There is a visible line that marks the extent i can go for  relatives  and the extent I'd be willing to go for my immediate family.  I belive nothing should be allowed to come in between family even if it's relatives  it's better they are kept at bay. 

1 Comment

I will prefer they just come around to visit given the fact that they have a place to stay and are not stranded or something. I think I will love it having a small family of mine own with just my wife and kids. I don't really like the idea of a member of the extended family remaining in our home for a long time.

Plus, my aunts are really tough ones to handle and to imagine that, they have to live with my wife and I is a tough one to swallow. I don't want anyone giving my wife trouble or stressing her up unnecessarily and members of the extended family can be so good at that. They expect a lot from their daughter in-laws so much so that sometimes they cross the limit.

Also, I have seen a lot of homes run into so much problems because of the presence of a member of the extended family. Misunderstandings between wives and them can often lead to serious problems. So, I will not really like the idea of my relatives remaining in my home.


It depends on the situation. If such a relative has no place to stay, I wouldn't mind sheltering such a relative until he/she can get Bach on his feet and get a place of his/her own. But in a situation where the relative already has a place staying, visiting or visiting and staying for some time before going back would be the best option


Depends...but I guess a couple of days would be okay when they come visiting from afar.