We'll, I had one friend that actually put all the variables that he wanted into a spreadsheet, joined up to high paying dating sites and also went out to only the the establishments and activities where people of the type he thought were the perfect life partner would appear.
Oh yeah, most f it had to do with status, where you went to school and of course, if you made enough money of your own so that, hopefully, if a divorce happened, you might just leave the millins alone.
Wait, I forgot, you had to have cherubic cheeks and play high level piano.
I wonder if he will ever find the perfect partner....
Because, well, what IS the perfect partner?
Is it really the one you never fight with, have 5 perfect kids who go to the perfect school and, after twenty grandkids, you die and they go on for fifty generations and then, magically, you achieve immortality via the cryogenic freezing you could afford because, well, one of your original five discovered the true meaning of conciseness and how that whole thing works and became a deity?
I think I already met a few of my perfect partners.
Each one taught me a lesson or lessons I had to learn in this life.
I even married one for 7 years and, for the most part, we had a blast.
I'm still having one to be honest.
A blast, that is.
And, I hope she is to.
Last we talked, after almost seven years apart, she said she appreciated what I did for her.
I didn't ask her if she did, it just came out at the Ned of our conversation.
She didn't specify what that was, but, I thanked her because I knew what it as.
And so did she, which is why she said it.
See, some lessons not take a few weeks.
Some take years.
And the realizations can come much later.
Mine was that, if she had not been the happy go lucky, energetic and beautiful person she was, I would have gotten Bored way back before we ever even decided to get married.
I would not have stuck around to learn the hard lessons I did at the end.
I really was a big EGO you see.
And, anyone living with me long term?
Even at my worst, I could show you that being happy is possible, no matter what.
So, maybe those people that seem to hurt us the most, are actually the perfect partner for you, right at the perfect time, so you can go on to more and higher lessons.
What about all those perfect couples you see everywhere though?
Hmmm, maybe they already had a few lives where they earned this one, where they get to take a break and just kick back.
And that, well, it might only come through grace..
There are a lot of factors to be considered
Most relationship starts with love at first sight and others started after spending time with themselves. Whichever one it might be, to find a life partner. There have a be a connection linking both partners, something called attraction. Sometimes you might be pulling away but there is this attraction which draws you both back, is like a magnet. Then you call is love but love is not enough reason for you to find a life partner, there are other requirements which needs to be passed to find a sincere life partner. The person will be attracted to you and all his/her attention drawn to you and will take every little opportunity or free time he/she has to call and check up on the other partner to know how they are doing. Being committed is another one, this shows that this isn't a mere dating but a serious relationship and we both partners need to put things together, sincerity can only comes in when both partners are open-minded and hid nothing from each other. No relationship is perfect but when there is trust, there will always be freedom to correct wrongs and open room for correction.
Finally, to find a perfect life partner, you need to be true to yourself and accept blames when one is wrong and take correction. Work on each other weakness and build something strong. When you find that person who appreciates you and always ready to stand with you even in downtimes then you know you have found the right partner..
We often hear, too, that mate isn't going anywhere. It's true that a mate won't go anywhere. But if you don't go anywhere, just stay silent, how will you find a soul mate?
So, how better? Here are some tips for finding the right life partner.
1. Choose the brethren
As Muslims and Muslim women, of course we must not forget the guidance given by our role models, namely the Messenger of Allah. He once said,
"Women are usually married because of four things: because of their wealth, because of their position, because of their position and because of their religion. Then you should choose because of his religion (Islam), because if not so, surely you will lose, "(Narrated by Bukhari-Muslim).
Yes. For this reason, promoting equality of faith is absolutely essential for a Muslim or Muslim. Do not let us get lost with property, position or position, because this is easy to wear off.
If we are looking for a life partner by prioritizing the same faith, we will not have trouble later when we live together.
Religion is a principle. You can't play. So, if we are married to a non-believer, there will be many principal differences, but will also get the wrath of Allah.
After all, wouldn't you later marry and build a household, not for a day or two, and we want a lasting marriage and be filled with His grace?
Because, how will grace be bestowed if we even make the wrath that gives grace itself?
2. Through the Good and Right Way taaruf
If we are looking for a good life partner, who is pious and blessed, of course we will not look for them in immoral places. The way to find a life partner is in accordance with religious guidance. Not with courtship.
Islam has so perfectly managed this life. Even in finding the right life partner, Islam gives its direction, namely through ta'aruf (getting acquainted), then asking for a marriage, until finally getting married.
Ta'aruf itself the process is not like dating. Ta'aruf only prioritizes the function itself, which is to know each other. Usually the process is relative, some are very short, some are quite short, and some are short. What is certain is not for years with no certainty to the next level.
In the process of ta'aruf until asking for a marriage and finally getting married, you should avoid mental PHP (False Hope Giver) aka false hope giver. If it is not suitable during ta'aruf, then proceed with the process well. Do not make other people hurt by the mental PHP.
3. Requesting advice and parents
As a good child, of course we have to ask the blessings of our parents for the choices we have made. And ask our parents for advice. So that household life goes smoothly, and reaches sakinah, mawaddah, and warahmah. Wallahualam.
Everyone wants to find a mate who really suits them. Millions of literary, musical and artistic works also carry the same goal. Love does need a struggle, but it is also very inspiring. If you want to try and be sure that someone is special to you out there, you can find love.
It can't be denied that we definitely want the best companion for life. We want to find someone who meets all the criteria of the most ideal man in our lives. It's just that sometimes we are too pushy to find a perfect figure, to forget that having someone who can make us happy is something very special.
When there is someone who can make us happy, it feels like what we need to do is strive for the best to be able to build relationships that are also happy. We also need to be realistic. In a sense, we also need to understand that everyone must have their own weaknesses and strengths.
What Can Make You Happy That Has Been Perfect
If someone near you can make you happy, there's no need to feel too busy looking for another person. Because not yet another figure can give the same happiness as the happiness given by him who is now near you. Sometimes love is not a matter of finding someone who is perfect. More than that, love accepts someone who can make you happy in a perfect way.
Yup, this phrase is indeed cliché. But that's the reality, that no human is truly perfect. Often we demand someone to be perfect and meet the standards we want. Only we often forget that we also need to try to improve ourselves to be the best. Don't let us be too selfish, too often demand others to forget that ourselves also need to be repaired.
HOW TO FIND A PERFECT LIFE PARTNER
i. Birds of the same feather flock together. Most times true Christians attract themselves just as wayward people, drunkards, drug addicts, sexually immoral people, etc. attract themselves. Make yourself a perfect person and you will attract a perfect life partner.
ii. Fast and Pray. Marriage is a very serous issue. Fast and pray before you choose a spouse. Ask God for what you want and He will lead you to the rightful person. Matt.7:7-11.
iii. Choose a spouse from the right source. Choose from among faithful children of God and not from occults, shrines, clubs, tribes, evil or man-made Churches, etc.
iv. Look beyond external features. Make a list of spiritual and physical considerations for your future partner. Ensure the spiritual outweighs the physical. Make sure you bring yourself to that standard too. Matt.7:12.
v. Moral Communication and Association. Observe the nature of his/her communication. If his/her communication is moral always, then that is a Godly person. Eph.4:29. Consider his/her company, is it with drunkards, miscreants, lays-about, corrupt people or with morally upright people, religiously minded people, Bible study group, God fearing people, etc? 1Cor.15:33.
vi. Choose a spouse who invests in God. If you cherish heaven, then the right spouse is him/her who invest /his her time, money, intellect and effort in pleasing God such as reading the Bible, praying, studying God’s word, giving to the needy, counselling the weak, visiting the sick, etc. Matt.25:34-46.
vii. Sex Consideration. A spouse to be who asks or demands for sex before marriage is not a Godly spouse. Such must not be considered as he/she will not be satisfied with one man/woman after marriage. The Bible enjoins us to flee from sexual immorality. 1Cor. 6:18
These principles are useful both for the married and unmarried. Advise yourself, your siblings and your children to consider the above when contemplating how to find the right partner
One should for the following qualities in their life partner.
Trustworthy: no relation can be strong if partner do not have trust on each other.
Maturity: your partner should be mature enough to stand with you in difficulties.
Openness: partners should be open to each other.
Honesty: without honesty no relation could be last longer.
Respect: partner should have respect for each other.
Love and affection: Love and affection is the most important quality of partners.
We live in a day and age where we set very high standards for ourselves. Going by those standards, it would take an immense amount of effort, time and luck to find your perfect life partner. And depending on how picky you are, that might not even happen. Instead, find someone who you are compatible with to a great extent and enjoy spending time with. Even if they are not the perfect partner you envisioned at first, in time things might change. Don't chase the dream so much that life and opportunities pass you by.
I don't think there is a special technique in getting a life partner.
What it takes is for one to be true to oneself. Know what you want and go for it
If you meet a person or partner and both of you share different views on a issue you should talk about it
Don't be so desperate in the search of a life partner
Lastly be you, don't change for any reason
Actually, to look for that perfect is impossible because there are no humans living in this perfect world, so what if we want to find the perfect life partner, be prepared to live alone because we certainly will not find it. But in choosing a life partner choose there are 3 of these factors
offspring are things we have to filter well because usually the fruit that falls not far from the tree means that the attitude of his child can be seen from his parents or offspring
Atou beauty is also not less important because the habits that make a husband at home because of his wife's beauty when a husband is out of feeling want to go home quickly to meet his wife to widen his longing
treasure is also important in this life because everything needs an economy. we just turn it down but when we want a wife we cannot fulfill it, there is the key to the destruction of a household.
God is the author of marriage, He originated it in the garden of Eden, so the best way to find your perfect life partner is to go to God through prayers, the perfect God will give you your life partner for without Him mistake is bound to be there.
If someone near you can make you happy, there's no need to feel too busy looking for another person. Because not necessarily another figure can give the same happiness as the happiness given by him who is now near you. Sometimes love is not a matter of finding someone who is perfect. More than that, love accepts someone who can make you happy in a perfect way.
Yup, this phrase is indeed cliché. But that's the reality, that no human is truly perfect. Often we demand someone to be perfect and meet the standards we want. Only we often forget that we also need to try to improve ourselves to be the best. Do not Until we are too selfish, too often demand others to forget that ourselves also need to be repaired.
Don't let you change selfishly because you demand perfection
If there is someone near you who can make you happy, don't be confused about finding a perfect figure. Do not until you lose someone who is actually the most important in your life because you are too selfish in obeying your illusion of the most perfect figure.