HomeAnswerNotificationsCustomize Feeds
Is marriage really on the decay on account of men's shocking access to sex?
Seven days back, I read an article published in the Wall Street Journal guaranteeing that marriage was on the decay as a result of men's inconspicuous access to sex. The question of the article, by humanist Mark Regnerus, went ineffectually more expelled than the settled saying: no one will purchase the dairy animals in the occasion that you're giving without end the drain to no closure. Regnerus is connected with a moderate, Christian research relationship in Texas that territory news once named the "no-sex" establishment. "Different ladies today expect little as a reaction of sex, regarding time, thought, commitment or immovability," Regnerus claims. "Men, hence, don't feel obliged to supply these things as they once did.

Sex is not something that's equally available to all men. Very far from it. To suggest that sex is easily available to most guys is incredibly stupid. It is not and has never been and never will be.

The article must be talking about young people. There are some things to remember here. Women's average age of peak sexual attractiveness is much earlier than men's. Most women reach their lifetime peak of sexual attractiveness around at about 18 to 23 years of age. Most men reach their peak much, much later, usually around 28 to 33.  Another is that, even discounting group dynamics, men tend to differ from each other much more than women in terms of how attractive they are to the opposite sex. That's because there is more variability among men in general. Yet another important factor causing differences between men in sexual attractiveness to be larger than among women is the fact that women are attracted to men based on their social dominance. Dominance is a zero sum game. That's group dynamics.

Among people between 18 and 35 years of age, what we have is a female advantage in average sexual attractiveness, which will turn in men's favour only in age brackets above 35 to 40 years of age. Also, we have a situation where the standard deviation of male attractiveness is much higher than the standard deviation of female attractiveness. 

The idea that young men in general would be feasting on free sex doled out by their female peers is patently false. What is actually be going on is that a minority of men - the most attractive ones in any social setting like school or college campus have their pick of girls who are free to go after them. This is made possible by the absence of slut shaming or social norms demanding that people marry early. Those norms were in place before the widespread availability of effective contraception and female economic empowerment making them less dependent financially on finding a good provider for a husband. They also have been relaxed on account of increasing wealth and emphasis on individual liberty in society.

In their youth, before most young women start seriously looking for a husband, many of them engage in relationships or just hook up with men who would outrank them under strict monogamy and assortative mating where everyone is paired for life with someone ranked equal to them. Many of those relationships don't last. Some are short-term flings with no strings attached. Not nearly all young women do that but many do. Some young women may rack up quite a bit of experience but rarely with men whose attractiveness rank would be equal to theirs under strict monogamy and lifetime commitment. Nearly all have had a fling with some high ranking guy willing to slum it.  

A lot of young men will have to stay on the sidelines watching this go on for years unless they're willing to relax their standards considerably. It starts to change when everyone is pushing thirty. If they have any sense in their heads, most women know they will have to change their approach as their goals have changed at this stage. 

I have barely started to scratch the surface of why marriage is in decline. But the sexual dynamic is not one where women foolishly put out freely, satisfying all men to the point where they have no sexual motive to marry. Young women in their prime have ample choice among young men who are their relative equals if they want to a long-term relationship with serious potential to lead to marriage. Some use this potential. I have seen some people find their match at a relatively young age (early to mid-twenties). But the problem is that many young women don't see this situation clearly because access to high-ranking guys, social media, Internet dating apps like Tinder give them an illusion of having a higher rank among their peers than they actually have. Or they may not even grasp the fact that their relative position among women in the same age group determines who they are able to marry. The down to earth, smart, perceptive girls who are not deluded grasp this and are capable of navigating this environment. 

So, in answer to the question, no, marriage is not on the decline due to all men's shocking access to sex.



Today the meaning of marriage has faded from its sacred meaning (sacred) due to a shift in values ​​that prioritizes momentary interests. Not infrequently, divorce and infidelity are events that often occur around us due to the lack of internalization of the noble values ​​of marriage in religious teachings. Even though marriage means sacred, fundamental and is a gift of love from the Supreme Being.

Following this we describe the meaning of marriage from various religions which we summarize from various references to books on various religions in the world.

Hindu religion

Marriage means a sign of the beginning of the "household" status and this ceremony is the 13th samskara. The marriage ceremony is carried out around the holy fire and is full of symbols. In the ceremony, the two brides walked around the holy fire seven steps while holding hands, and at each step they made mutual promises. Manu's law, a Scripture, says that a wife must always love and respect her husband, and Orthodox Hindus do not allow divorce for any reason.

Judaism (Jews)

Marriage means the establishment of a house that is built together and has the same fate. The main purpose of marriage is to create an ideal environment for children but also - from the words of one of the blessings of marriage it reads "giving joy and pleasure to the heart, joy and excitement that overflows, passion and joy, love of peace and friendship" to his partner. In other words, marriage is the center of family life and the personal formation of family members outwardly and mentally prosperous.

Marriage ceremonies are basically the same in all Jewish traditions. Synagogue marriage is only for Jewish male couples with Jewish women. Marriage must not be held on the Sabbath or other holidays. The ceremony begins with the signing of a marriage certificate or modification - which shows the responsibility of men but does not contain promises from the women.

Marriage ceremonies are carried out under the curtain of marriage or chuppah - which symbolizes a house built together. The two brides together drank a glass of wine to symbolize their common destiny. The ceremony ended with the break of the wine glass by the groom under his feet to remind everyone of the destruction of the Jerusalem Temple in 70 AD.


The concept of marriage in Buddhism is not explicitly discussed. But marriage can be formulated as a husband and wife relationship to obtain purity (vimakirti sutra). One of the moral messages from the Five Rules that are the moral guideline for every Buddhist is "They must not abuse sex".


Marriage is a lifetime of union, bound by a covenant, between a man and a woman. Through marriage they become husband and wife, share life as a whole, develop themselves in full and in love give birth and educate children (Gaudium et Spes 47-52)

Often Catholic marriages fail to be carried out legally because of marital barriers such as insufficient age, impotence, remaining marital ties, ordination, eternal vows of religious life carried out publicly, blood relations at a certain level (Church Law, Canonical Law 1073 -1094).

Catholic marriage is only valid if held before a local bishop, parish priest, priest or deacon who is legally delegated. If there are no priests or deacons, laypersons can be delegated only if given by the bishops' conference. In affirming marriage there must be two other witnesses.

Christian (Protestant)

Marriage is seen as the solidarity of the three between husband, wife before God. Marriage is sacred. A man and a woman form a household because they are united by God. So they are no longer two, but one.

In principle the meaning of marriage in Christianity (Protestant) has a similarity meaning, but in different rites and regulations. Marriage rules are more lenient or not as strict and as complicated as marriage in Catholicism.


Muslims consider that the Islamic family is the foundation of society and marriage is the backbone of family life. In Muslim communities, the whole family is involved in the selection of a marriage partner and when the agreement is made, the marriage gold is paid for by the replacement of a man or his father. Married gold is an important protection for the replacement of women because it is impossible for him to earn his own living. In a marriage ceremony, an agreement between the groom and the bride is signed witnessed by two male witnesses.

From the various meanings of marriage mentioned above, we can see that marriage basically has important meaning, holy and aims to reach happiness and prosperity of family life. So marriage is not a matter of playing around like buying clothes, if it is not suitable, it is immediately replaced with a new one, but a serious matter in pursuing goodness for family, religion and nation.


Keene, Michael, World Religions, Kanisius: Yogyakarta, 2006

O’Collins, Gerald, SJ, Dictionary of Theology, Kanisius: Yogyakarta, 1996.

Various other sources from the internet.


This is a very good question that is thought provoking.

It is truism that sex is easily accessible to men nowadays. I am a man, so it will be difficult to me to say the same thing or otherwise for women. I work as a junior lecturer in a private university in my country and you would not believe it if I tell you what I face virtually everyday. I could actually choose to have sex with different ladies every day of the week.

One reason why I did and will never yield to the temptation is simply because of the fact that I am married and very contented with my marriage. Also, I do not think I so much fancy a multiple sex partner life. However, for someone that does not have the same ideology as me and does not mind getting the cherries as they come, such man would have a difficult time settling down with one woman.

I know a friend that once told me he has slept with over a hundred woman in his life. He is approaching fourty years of age and not really thinking about marriage. He picks up different girls almost every weekend. So many of them are available at his call. They cook his food and lay his bed - pun intended. 

The ease of access to getting laid is really not making him to think of settling down with a woman. He sometimes tells me that he is not sure he can be having sex with the same woman every day of his life all in the name of marriage.

So to answer your question using my friend's example, yes. Less and less men are getting married and more more of them are sleeping around with different ladies. Ask them why they are yet to settle down and they will say they have not found the right woman. I can bet a lot of them would have settled down if sex is not so available and cheap, if not free.


No I wouldn't say that at all. Sex has always been around for men for those that want it.

I think the high rate of divorces is on the account of couples not working through problems and communicating. Communication is key and when that breaks down you will have problems.

It takes two to make a marriage work and it is not just a blissful ride. There are ups and downs and as long as there is love it makes it easier. Love should conquer all and make you stronger as a team.

You see too many divorces today as they are not prepared to work things out and just give up. It is just too easy and it shouldn't be like that.


Men certainly had easy access to sex since women were not allowed to do beneficial business and could thus be simply wives, housekeepers, special women or whores. Properly, it was not necessary for a man to marry with the ultimate goal  to get laid. Marriage has decreased due to the fact that innovation has made the "housekeeper" job less basic (you can certainly buy your own clothes, food, stove, dishwasher, roomba, etc.) and social change has given women the chance to make a living without a husband. 

Plus, it's all but a terrible thing. Individuals need to be tagged for the reason that they need it. Not because of his solitary approach, prostitution or the fact that he would not have the ability to dress or eat in general would not be a solution. Give people the chance to live the way they want, as long as they do not hurt anyone.


Men completely had fundamental access to sex since women were not allowed to do satisfying business and could in this way be in a general sense partners, workers, astonishing women or whores. Honestly, it was repetitive for a man to marry with a complete target to get laid. Marriage has lessened by ideals of the manner by which that progress has made the "pro" work less critical (you can obstinately buy your own stand-out bits of clothing, sustenance, stove, dishwasher, roomba, et cetera.) and social change has enabled women to make a few bucks without a genuine presence assistant.

Moreover, it's begin and end adjacent to an offensive thing. Individuals ought to be separate for the reason that they require it. Not in light of his single procedure, prostitution or the manner by which that he would not be able to dress or eat everything considered would not be an answer. Enable people to encounter the way by which they require, as long as they don't hurt anyone.


Easy access to sex? Not at all, especially in the Asian countries. Yes, a man can pay for sex with prostitutes but the price is getting higher and higher.

But I do agree that marriage is on decay, mostly due to higher autonomy in women.


this question is kind of an interesting topic. i think the end product of the sex is the main reason why sex is on the decay and sex included. to be sincere also, the availability of sex to most men as make them see marriage as no big deal and something that could be avoid. 

this days, a trend of being a baby daddy or baby mummy is on the upward rise. and people are tending to just have sex for the sake of it instead of getting married  to be able to do it morally and religiously