I think in my love life. At one point in my life, I decided that the most important thing for me was my studies and everything that could be derived from them. My love life took a back seat.
When I realized that my love life could bring with it other responsibilities that could contradict my great goal or objective, I began to postpone and put aside everything that had to do with relationships or couple commitments. Watch out, my relationship as a couple is fine, but I have not done with it what society and the environment expects a couple to do. For example, getting married or having children.
I am willing to pay the price of having a life as I lead it, in this society, without marriage and children.
There are things that you can't give up and one of them that I find hard to give up is my freedom! Freedom is a high wreck that you pay only if you are sure that you will not live in prison! There are marriages that only need bars to appear, because they already are. They would say in any board game: STEP.
Yes! I strongly corroborate with word that says "Everything has a price to be paid in life". As a man I am prone to shortcomings and weakness which explains my imperfections as a whole person. There are some things I wish to achieve in my life but I am not just ready to pay the price even though the only way I can achieve my aim is by paying the price.
Where have you been falling short in life because you haven’t wanted to pay the price ?
One of my shortcoming is the fear of public speaking. I lack the confidence to face people and express my thoughts to them. I don't really know maybe it was because of my upbringing or maybe it was just because I am introverted. I don't really like interacting or socializing with people because I always feel uncomfortable around them. As a guy, I do feel sad about this because it is also affecting my academic performance when it comes to making presentations and project defense 😢.
I will never forget when a lecturer told me to answer a question for my group because he heard about how great my grades were. He asked a question and he told me to explain the answer to his question with the intention of making other students learn from my answer.
I walked long way to the stage and I stood on the podium with the hope of delivering my speech by giving an explicit answer to his question. Immediately I faced the crowd, my legs were already shaking.. My heart beat was very fast than the usual, sweat began falling from my fore head, my voice was already shaking and I was just stammering. I was thinking I could just faint or look for a magic that will help me out of that place because I couldn't bear those faces. I had to tell the lecturer that I didn't know the answer even though I knew it but I just had the intention of leaving the stage because I couldn't bear such incident. The lecturer got angry at me and he deducted some marks from our group work which made my group members blamed me for their misfortune with lots of insults 🙁.
After that incident, I had been looking for ways to develop my self confidence when it comes to speaking publicly. I had tried some tips I read online which involves self practice, visualization, and many others. I just had to quit because I was not just improving. I can't speak confidently with the opposite sex which is sometimes why I run away anytime I come across them for conversation. I never had that confidence to mingle with people. I was always cheated because I couldn't speak for myself. I couldn't ask questions on lectures I never understood. I just had to keep playing it safe because I never wanted to make any mistake so that people won't laugh at me and this never made me pay the price for what I wanted.
As time goes on, I began to watch Tedx Talks and other motivational movies which made me realized that I wasn't going anywhere in life if I keep up such habit. I am now trying my best with great efforts just to eradicate such a bad habit from my life. I have make up my mind to pay the price now and I hope I will he able to achieve my aim.
In conclusion, my fear of public speaking is one of my shortcomings and I couldn't eradicate it then because I wasn't ready to pray pay the price. I am hoping to pay the price now after writing this post and I hope I will be able to achieve this. You can also help me with tips to achieve this if you have once been in my shoes which is the fear of public speaking.
Thanks for reading and I hope this helps.
This is kinda blowing my mind a little right now...
Quite powerful reflections, as I’ve been contemplating on transitioning from writing to video / speaking, though have been in a similar battle of self-consciousness...
AND the latest notification from YouTube when I picked up my phone before reading this was for the latest podcast from Matt Belair on THE ART OF PUBLIC SPEAKING AND COMMUNICATION.