Monogamy may not seem natural, I only think the reason why people embrace monogamy is because of it's religious morality and the simplicity that comes with it. Monogamy makes it easier to raise a nuclear family without issues it. I kind of respect your perception towards the fact your opinion concerning monogamy, it's better the way you voiced out your worries because if you didn't question your notions and opinion then it means your minds is decided on the actions you basically are open to suggestions in order to know what to do, so I'll definitely respond to you accordingly
First of all since you find it absurd and impossible to stay with a man in a monogamous marriage I'll advise you not to try and get married.
Marriage is a very complicating kettle of fish and if you attempt to marry one person in a monogamous marriage and still have lovers just like it seems the best option, then the marriage may be a nightmares expecially if you start to have kids, it will be difficult to be a wife, be a mother and have a partner outside your monogamous marriage.
You'll not be a good example to your children and your marriage may end up in divorce if your husband discovers your infidelity (which you will definitely dive into)
The best option would be for you to sacrifices being married be with as many men you want or sacrifice being with many lovers in other to have a usual monogamous marriage. I hope you understand? Would love to see your feedback
Is monogamy natural? I don't think the answer to this question is as simple as yes or no.
No, monogamy isn't natural. But it's natural for us.
Aside from humans, the only other monogamous animal I know of are doves. So it would seem that we're on the wrong side of things. But the thing here is that we aren't like other animals. We are unique. Our way of life is unique and as such our mating pattern too must also be unique.
The average animal wanders his territory in search of food, shelter and a mate. Finding those three things are more or less the beginning and end of an animals instincts. When they find a mate, they rut and go their separate ways. The female is the one who has to take care of the children alone. The cycle continues over and over until death. That can't work in our society. The entire point of monogamy is to find a partner that will support you through out life. An extra pair of hands if I may say so. The only downside is that you only get one extra pair. But it works. Imagine a world where we battle with life our careers, then sleep with anyone we want and move on. What happens when the kids start coming. If we act like other animals, then the women would be have the short straw in this.
But we are smarter than the average animal. We are better. And that's why we have monogamy where they do not. It's s system that works in our society and while it may get boring after a long time, it's still the best option we've got. So like I said before, it's not natural but it's natural for us
I preach living a "balanced, happy, and healthy life." And I love contemplating the research associated with this subject. Is it natural for humans to be monogamous? I can honestly say, I don't know. How can we explain all of the infidelity occurring in our society? What exactly is going on with that?
David P. Barash, one of the authors of The Myth of Monogamy found that the only species that had a zero percent chance of mating with another after a "commitment" was the Diplozoon paradoxum, a flatworm that lives in gills of freshwater fish. "Males and females meet each other as adolescents, and their bodies literally fuse together, whereupon they remain faithful until death."
How does that relate to my opinion on monogamy within the human experience? I always like to look at the scientific animal research as correlated to human behavior. Are we animals? Well, in a sense yes! We do have a primitive side to us that drives us if we let it. Yet, I feel a highly evolved human, who is spiritually connected to the divine in some way considering delving into "forbidden waters" must make the choice to either go the primitive route or to go the evolved, spiritually connected route! To choose to be with one mate is highly evolved. I am not sure what others think and feel but you know, with such a high rate of infidelity, that indeed, many factors need to be evaluated. So, with the wandering eye of both males and females of the human race is this related to the survival of a specific genetic pool?
Actually, I am not sure. What do you think? What is an explanation for the high rate of infidelity in our society?
If you plan to marry for life (who doesn't), you can rest assured that the relationship will not feel the same after decades together as it does in the beginning. If the tingly feelings you get when you're with someone are what you value in relationships, then it I think it would be betting the wrong horse for you to get married. There's nothing quite like the first six months to a year or so of a fresh relationship. The normal progression of things is for that initial excitement to wear off. It is not "natural" or at least not very common at all to remain super excited about your partner for a very long time. What keeps couples together after the beginning is attachment,.
You sound as if you had quite high expectations for life. If you want your life to be a series of peak experiences particularly in the romantic department, then marriage may not be for you. Why do you want to get married? Do you want a family? Why? Because that's what you're supposed to do?
I read this somewhere and I may get some comments from this . I am a monogamous man myself but shear me out . For men it is not natural to remain monogamous as they are designed to plant their seed as many times as they can. For women it Ian the opposite. They have to make their home for any offspring and ensure security so monogamy is the best way to do it .
Most women certainly want a monogamous wedding. There are many positive things that can be achieved with monogamy, one of them in sexual life.
Here are four reasons why.
1. Emotionally satisfying
If you really like your partner, your emotional bond with him plays a major role when in bed. The way you care about him and vice versa makes you both go the extra mile to get pleasure from each other during sex.
2. Know inside and out
If you think too familiar it will be boring, you should think again! You both know each other's bodies and likes, unlike others. Starting from fetish, sex positions to erogenous zones to each other. As a result you don't need to start at the beginning, so there are no pleasant surprises.
3. You can be honest
If you and your husband have been partners for a long time, then there is a comfort zone that can be shared with each other. You can be completely barrier-free with him. If he goes wrong, or acts too harshly, you can express yourself without fear.
4. You can encourage closeness
Trying something new with your partner during sex will help you know him better day by day. A new position, role playing, sex toys ... You can try something new all the time and then can keep the desire burning. The best part here, you don't need to worry about unknown consequences.