HomeAnswerNotificationsCustomize Feeds
HOMEQUESTION
I think am scared of getting married, i get tired of all the ladies I have dated in the pasts especially after like 2years, could it be psychological... I'm 25years old ?
I really wish to be happily married ,but am scared of getting tired in my marriage
$0.01
6 ANSWERS

Ok so I completely understand what you're going through. I get tired of the women I'm with pretty quickly too and the thought of getting married and getting tired of my spouse scares me too.

The thing is that I think you have the wrong perception of how love and relationships should be. All relationships get boring after a while, it's something that's unavoidable, it's not excitement and fun that makes a relationship work, it's love, trust and respect. There's no way you can expect to be with someone forever and not get a little bored of them.

Marriage itself is boring so if it's whether or not you'll get bored, you most certainly will but the essence of marrying someone is to build a family with them and love and appreciate each other no matter what. Marriage isn't supposed to give you excitement, it's meant to give you peace, the peace of knowing that you'll always have someone to come home to.

Relationships are supposed to mirror this but if it's excitement you're looking for in a relationship then I'll advise that you just stick with having flings. The boredom that you feel with your partner is your body adjusting to them completely because there's nothing new that they'll do that you don't already know or haven't already seen.

To me that should make you happy, you've literally reached a point where you completely understand a person and most probably they completely understand you. A lot of people don't ever find this.

I think the best thing for you to do is to change the way you look at relationships and marriage entirely. Don't look at it like something that's meant to give you excitement, look at it like a chance to truly find peace because that's what a relationship should do for you, not excite you.

Till today, I still get bored of my partner sometimes but I know that I'm with her for so much more than the excitement of being with someone, I'm with her because even though I get bored sometimes, when I need someone to listen to me and be my peace, she's always there.

Find someone who does that for you and regardless of whether or not you get bored, you'll still stay with them.

I hope this helps.

$2.34
Reply

 

 Fine, at the age of 25, you are tired of marriage. You are getting tired of the girls you date, after 2 years. Then how will you live with a girl rest of your life, after marriage? You will get tired of her. 

Marriage is not to be scared. It is to be lived. Sharing, caring, helping each other, forgiving and loving. If you are expecting something from girls, and you are not finding your expectations in them makes you tired. 

Girls are girls there won't be a perfect mind to mind, body to body match in the world. WHEN OUR EXPECTATIONS ARE NOT FULFILLED we are going away or getting scared. Because you are thinking that things are going out of your control. You scared. 

Try to accept the opposite, within limits. I am not telling to accept all the negatives (in your vision). You can watch your mind and environment and you can think about the values, which is to keep and appreciate and which is to avoid.

No pair is going to be MADE FOR EACH OTHER in this world, that is nature's trick to bring more and more evolved creature by combining entirely different beings.

We have to Love, adapt, adjust, respect and don't expect more according to your need. Life will be easy. You are going to marry a person from the different brought up, different mindset and a different character. Both are facing the same problem in the marriage. There begins the adventure of understanding.

Keep it in mind you are marrying a living being with an entirely different personality, not a robot programmed according to your need. Choose one girl who is not having too much deviation from your view and marry her. There is no need to scare or avoid because you want a happy married life. 

Good luck.  

$2.22
Reply
1 Comment

I will assume that by "psychological" you mean that you feel that way because you have some kind of a problem that could be solved by the right kind of intervention. You are very smart to consider this matter seriously before marrying anyone. If you have reasons to believe this might have to do with some kind of a problem, I recommend that you talk to a professional. 

But it's also possible that you simply aren't ready for marriage, yet, and you know it. You are only 25 years old. You are at an age when your job is to find yourself and build a foundation for the rest of your adult life in terms of career in particular. You are in no hurry to get married. In fact, it would be very unwise for most men to marry in their early or even mid-twenties. What dreams do you have other than getting married?

 

$1.35
Reply

I would say it is definitely psychological although 25 is actually quite early to conclude.

You get tired of the ladies after 2 years well, its a good thing that you date consistently even up to 2 years and recognizing the fact that you get tired of them after 2 years is a plus on its own.

At 25, you still have a whole life ahead of you to sort out what the problem really is.

There shouldn't be any need to try out marriage in this state you're in.

I think you need to sit down and draft out why you get tired of the ladies.

Do you take it easy or it's a battlefield for you; do you date intelligent ladies that challenge you intellectually or just ladies that can only offer you good sex; do you date ladies that makes you want to be a better person or ladies that makes you become a mediocre and vice versa.

We don't wait for the right person , we become the right persons then I am sure you'll get shocked when you're celebrating wedding anniversaries with your special one.

$1.35
Reply

   I didn't get married until I was 33 so you are not at all too old to get married. Honestly, just try and be patient, it's worth the wait because from my experience and perspective, marriage is the hardest relationship to maintain. My wife found me streaming on twitch, and today we have a 1 year old daughter and are about to celebrate our first anniversary. As hard as marriage is, it can be very fulfilling and self-refining. So, my advice is if you're at all scared, then your not ready. The right woman will most certainly give you the confidence to pop the question.  

$0.68
Reply

Sorry but I have to say this. Getting married at the age of 25 isn't too young and to old but what I believe in is getting married to the right person and at the right time.

I would say it is psychological because our minds and brain adapt to what we see and hear.

I remember when I was younger, I actually did use to tell my friends that I won't be getting married because I don't want to be caged. But as I grew older and saw marriages that are walking out well I knew I got a wrong thinking about marriage.

This is what am saying most times our environment and people we see and talk or hear from them gives us a wrong signal about a thing and our brain saves it for as long as it can and then one day it turns into an action that keeps hunting US.

I tell anyone marriage is beautiful and I tell any young one that comes my way plan your marriage at a younger age when you are still vibrant so that you will teach your children all they need to know

Try to know what your fears are, meet with those who can help you in that area and work on it. Don't wait till you are 40. 25 isn't bad of a age to get married.

But don't be in a rush. Wait for the best timing of God

$0.68
Reply