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How do you usually deal with anger? Do you have any control over it or it's just a part of your personality?

Anger is something that is very friendly to me. That too when I have a conversation with my mom, I easily get provoked. But my anger is usually instantaneous. I just react to a particular situation but I will not literally have anything in my mind. I did lots of analysis on this to try and understand why I'm getting so much of anger. I found few reasons why I easily get anger:

Stress: This is one of the main reason why I show my anger to others. In office if I'm exposed to a continuous stressful work throughout the day, the stress is exhibited in the form of anger. When I reach home I used to show all those anger to my parents without even thinking. 

Hunger: This might look silly but I have noticed that when I'm a bit hungry I get lots of stress in my head and the outcome is exhibited as anger. It will be kind of an urge where I will have to definitely let it out to someone. It automatically settles down when I fill my stomach. 

Hatred: Though this is not something that I personally experienced, I have seen this commonly happening. There are few people who easily get anger by seeing someone. Just a face to face meeting will be enough to trigger someone. This is because of a kind of hatred they have on others. 

Basically anger is not a permanent thing. No one is interested to stay angry all the time like how hulk says. People are just reacting to situations and the reaction is exhibited in the form of anger. I took few steps to overcome my anger issues. 

  1. When I get provoked easily, I started observing myself and tried to understand what happens inside me. Before I react immediately I tried to do a mental rehearsal of how I will be reacting. Just because I was not convinced I stopped doing it. This helped me a lot. 
  2. In most of the situations I stopped reacting. If I think I will get provoked by the response from people, I will stop the communication and try to approach the person in a different way. 
  3. If anger comes as an outcome of heated conversation, I try to add some jokes in between the conversation. This not for the sake of others but for me to not get provoked. 
  4. I always try to express even bad things in a nice way. This will help solve anger problems. If the expression is good, the opposite person in the conversation will not be provoked. There is a high possibility that the conversation will end up smooth even though it was a negative conversation. 
  5. Avoid talking to people when they are in bad mood. If I identify someone in a bad mood, I will better avoid talking to them instead of trying to talk to them and get their stress expressed in the form of anger on me. 

Apart from the above there are quite a lot of situations where people really piss off others. Those situations become natural and we will not be able to do anything about it. In such situations I usually let it flow but I make sure I don't utter any bad words. 

"Anger is the cause of all miseries. One should know how to control it. If not life will become miserable."

Image Source: Pixabay.com


I think anger is a natural response to certain situations. So in that sense, I do believe that it is a part of everyone’s personality.

However, I tend to feel that unbridled anger is unhealthy and a symptom of deeper emotional troubles.

While I’m nowhere near perfect I’m dealing with my anger, I do have a few tactics I use to help me stay in control of it.

**1. Physical activity

I find that going for a walk helps to calm me down and think about the situation more objectively. It gives me some fresh air and some physical space from whatever is causing the issue, and that helps.

**2. Playing Devil’s Advocate (I think I’m using that phrase correctly...?)

Sometimes I try to intentionally defend the other person’s point of view or their actions. I don’t ever actually condone them, but this exercise forces me to consider their situation and can help to offer an explanation for their behavior, if not an excuse for it.

**3. Apologizing

This mostly goes for interpersonal issues that cause anger, but taking a moment to eat some humble pie and apologize helps me calm down. I won’t ever apologize for things I didn’t do, but I always try to apologize for anything I did to contribute to the situation, or that may have been perceived incorrectly.

There’s probably a few other things that I use, but that’s what comes to mind at the moment.

Hope this helps!


When you feel anger begins to take over, just by trying to relax you can divert various negative feelings. This does not mean that you have to ignore your feelings, but take a step back and look at the situation.

Can your anger be justified? Give yourself time to feel hurt, frustrated or upset, but don't let those feelings control you. The following are simple steps that you can practice everyday to deal with anger:

  • Slowly breathe.
  • Imagine a peaceful atmosphere.
  • Relaxation exercises, such as yoga poses.

After some time, the steps become an automatic reaction, and you don't even have to think about doing these steps when facing your anger. The way to reduce anger is as follows:

1. empathize

Don't let your source of anger control you. If someone makes you angry, try to look at the situation from his perspective. Seeing things from a different perspective may be easier to understand the situation, and maybe a reasonable reason can help you calm down.

2. Exercise

Physical activity is the best way to reduce feelings of anger. This gives you the opportunity to focus your mind on something else and after your body works hard you will tend to be obsessed with anger. Strong activities like running and kickboxing are healthy ways to release the angry energy that has been built. Follow your intense exercise portion with something soothing, like meditation or yoga, to help you relax.

3. Don't Get Rid of Anger

Take action to correct the situation as soon as you feel disturbed, so that feelings of anger do not build up. Talk to the waiter if you feel unhappy with your food. Talk to your partner if he doesn't do the homework he promises.

4. Communicate

When you are forced to speak, use the word "I" instead of attacking and criticizing others. Try saying "I feel frustrated when you say you will do something and then not do it" instead of saying "you are very lazy. You have never done anything here. "

5. Don't Release Anger

You may feel better, but the person affected by anger, sure feels uncomfortable. Look for others to let go of anger, such as writing in a journal, or writing angry letters that are not planned to be sent to achieve feelings of freedom, certainly better.

6. Proactive

Don't expect other people to read your mind or know what you want. Talk to yourself. Learn honestly with yourself and others about what you want and need on a daily basis.

7. Think about being overwhelmed first

Use anger energy to get something strategic. This will be very good especially at work. Think carefully before you express anger at your boss or coworkers but to spur strategic change rather than talking about your feelings in a professional context.

Set aside a few moments to write and think about the feelings of others who might be the target of your anger. Sometimes we express anger when we feel hurt and dissatisfied. Try to dive in and express feelings deeper.


Personally I rarely get angry now, I used to but I have changed my approach when dealing with situations. I deal with anger by simply not caring about things that I cant change or things that are not worth expending my energy changing. Also when dealing with individuals who make you angry then it is a lot more powerful to laugh at them and if they decide to get physical then let your anger out. However never be the aggressor.

1 Comment

It's very unfortunate to say this but I do have slight Anger Issues and I have failed at a lot of things because of that. The one and only method that I found for myself to calm myself down is to just walk out and breathe deeply for a Minute, so that I can calm my Anger.


Getting angry is a natural phenomenon in which we can't sometimes do without most especially when we are frustrated by people.

Me as a person, I am not used to getting angry because I am a very shy person. My personality sometimes helps me to control my anger.

I don't really like shouting at people or expressing my anger towards them. I try as much as possible to leave the sight of anyone who gets me angry because I can do something very worse.


Anger is an expression to show that someone isn't satisfied with something. Usually we all humans as well as animals have this feeling. I was a very angry bird in my school days, then I gradually realised that anger doesn't make any profits. But I didn't find any button to stop it & still I feel angry sometimes.

Now, what I do to calm down? Generally I use to sleep to maintain my anger, sometimes I listen songs.

But experts suggest some process to maintain anger. Such as :

Counting numbers : If you're feeling angry and wanna calm down soon then start counting number as per contra. It'll shift your concentration from the anger.

Go for a walk : It's also a good process to calm down your anger, whenever you feel anger just go for a walk to a cool place, better if you walk in a big garden.

Another good therapies are meditation, dance, eat your favorite food, visualise some positive thoughts atc. atc.. Overall, if you wanna calm down you have shift away from the object/subject that made you anger.


I usually deal with anger by being silent, then I would go for a walk, then when I am alone these will be the time where I would definitely shout with all my might. Punch the wall and release my anger.

I feel more relieved by punching the wall than punching the person I was being angry at

but I guess this would be depend on the situation

I usually do these things when I was the main topic of the fight, but if ever that I see a my friend (definitely a girl) crying for some reasons I usually can't hold my temper and doesn't find the a wall to throw a punch

I definitely find that person and personally throw a punch

I guess this thinking was because I don't have a sister to protect, I only treat my friends as my precious sisters and I definitely don't want them to get hurt