Honestly, I don't think it would be wise to base the decision of who you're going to spend the rest of your life with and wake up to every blessed day on what your Pastor or Parents say because they aren't the ones who are going to be in the marriage with you.
Yes I know they're older and wiser, so listening to what they have to say would actually be a good idea, but they can only give you advice based on what they've experienced and it doesn't necessarily mean that their experience will be relevant to you. If you're trying to decide who to marry then the best thing you can do is make the choice based on your own desires, at least that way if things go wrong, you can boldly say that you chose your wife yourself, not your pastor or mother or father.
Alot of people don't realise that marriage is a life time commitment, maybe that's why there are so many divorces today so if you plan on being with your partner forever then make sure you're the one that chooses the person, not your pastor or your parents. Frankly, I could understand wanting to listen to your parents, but listening to your pastor is what I don't get, but let's not talk about that.
As long as you're the one who'll either get on one knee or say yes to someone, then let that decision be something that you want to do and not any external influencer. Choose your wife/husband by yourself!!! It a marriage between two people and not yla marriage between a couple and the groom's/bride's parents and pastor.
I hope this helps.
Firstly I wouldn't listen to either of them as I am the one getting married and not them. A pastor would be the last person I would consider. I remember having to go for marital advice as a condition of the church in order to be married there. It was the biggest waste of time and wish I didn't have to get married in the church. It wasn't my choice. All I saw it was a way of trying to grow his flock hoping you would join his congregation.
My parents I respect but they would say it was my choice anyway and would be happy with that.If i have decided on such a big decision then it is my decision and no one else' should be involved.
Neither. It's none of their business who you marry. It's your life and you need to take responsibility for your own decisions at one point or another. What can be more important and personal decision to make than to decide who you marry?
Neither of them. Let me explain because I see where are you coming from.
In some part of the world and in some cultures people need advice from parents, spiritual leaders, community leaders and so one. It better said they might not need it but getting it anyway because it is believed these people know the best. In some cases the person in question has absolutely no right at all, it is forced to do whatever parents decide for him or her.
In these cases you don't need anyone's advice because you don't have a saying anyway. So why would you need any of these people's advance if you are forced to marry against your will?
In other part of the world, people are free to do whatever they think it's best for them!
In a question of marriage a person should choose whoever he/she wants to marry and doesn't need anyone's advice. If you choose your best half yourself, that means you know that person the best.
We live in a free world and it's the 21st century!
I would not really worry about either one. I follow my own heart and noone really knows what I want. I like to make my own decisions.