Toxic people cause discomfort. Either because they manipulate, blackmail, lie or spread their pessimism. The truth is that they are surrounded by a kind of aura that provokes negative emotions in those around them. Knowing how to get away from toxic people is something that can take much weight off you.
Is there any other option to deal with toxic people?
Of course. Getting away is a possible solution, but not the only one. There are other more diplomatic means that will allow you to deal with toxic people on a day-to-day basis.
When the toxic person is a loved one, getting away is the least desired option. It is understandable that the emotional bonds that unite us are stronger than the pain that this relationship causes us. If you have to endure a toxic person with no other remedy, you have three good options:
And do not enter the game. You must familiarize yourself with all types of blackmail, lies and manipulations. Enter the links of each word to access specific articles. If you know how to recognize a manipulation, you can defend yourself against it. When you go blind and fall into manipulations, the toxic person gains control of the situation.
I have lived a long time with a toxic person without realizing what was really happening. I wish someone had opened my eyes before and said, "Hey, they are manipulating you" and would have guided me to change my situation.
This is the most important social skill. It allows you to interact with others without allowing them to enter your space. In short, assertiveness is knowing how to say no. It is the key tool to limit the influence that other people can have on you.
Guilt is the Achilles heel of assertiveness. If you ever refuse to do someone a favor, it is possible for the person to make you feel guilty with phrases like: "With what I have done for you" or "Before you were kinder". With them, the person is indirectly attacked and can diminish the self-esteem of the other person, embarrass them and also make them feel very guilty.
Guilt is too frequent a feeling. If when you are with someone you feel more guilty than when you are with other people, you may be manipulating them.
fight toxic people guilt
Help the toxic person
This is the most complex option. "The toxic" of someone are usually characteristics and behaviors that have deepened their personality. Therefore, change is difficult. Almost impossible if the person in question does not do his part. If still the person is very important to you, this is the best option. Change is possible, I tell you from experience. Of course, you have to be prepared to bear a heavy burden. You will need great doses of patience, assertiveness and understanding.
Here is a list of steps to follow to change someone's toxic features:
Analyze, describe and isolate the toxic: write as accurately as you can what the other person should improve.
It helps to discover the thoughts and beliefs that keep the toxic: every toxic behavior is supported by a thought or belief that reinforces it. If you manage to discover them, you will know the real reason for their behavior and the change will be much simpler.
Make an action plan: divide your progress in small steps. It will be easier for you to make small changes little by little than a big one at once.
First of all, the most sensible thing is to seek professional help. Mental health professionals are the experts in these issues and will offer the most successful and effective help.
The best way to neutralize toxic people
The simplest and most useful option. Put land in between. The more the better.
People do not want to change. "I am like that", "You have to accept me as I am", and other phrases that the person who does not want to acknowledge their mistakes will repeat again and again.
"Better bad known than good to know". This saying says it all. Many prefer to be the way they are, even if they are so far away or harm many.
To avoid negative emotions and the bad environment that is generated by toxic people, there is no better solution than avoiding them.
If you must cross paths with them, as can happen with coworkers, be assertive at all times and avoid relating to them. If they are your parents, leave home as soon as possible. If you no longer live with them, you do not have to eat every weekend. It is not necessary. You have your life and you should not feel bad for wanting to do it your way.
In short, if someone subtracts you and does not contribute anything, why maintain that relationship? Sometimes you have to give the pull and remove that emotional burden at once. In the long run, it will be the best for you.
How to get away from toxic people
Although there are many types of toxic people, what is most repeated in them is an exaggerated selfishness, expressed in different ways, such as: being the center of attention at all times, causing grief, pitying, telling gossip, exaggerating their achievements, etc.
If you live or have close with someone like that, here are 6 tips on how to treat them:
1. This first point is essential: Do not feel bad about being a little selfish. You can not expect to be a "good person" with someone who wants to take advantage of you. Remember that your basic needs are first and foremost.
2. It is logical to feel that you want to get away from people who cause you some harm. You know that a lot of their personality is harmful and they will look for their own benefit or they will make you feel bad with any stratagem.
3. If for any reason we can not physically distance ourselves from them, work on self-confidence and self-esteem. Self-confidence is what will give you strength and tranquility to treat this class of people. It is very difficult to defend against psychological attacks, feelings of guilt and negativity if you do not have security in yourself. Here is an article about healthy personality, in case it serves as inspiration.
4. Do not follow his game. Learn to differentiate reality from the drama they want to simulate. Use your common sense and stay firm in your decisions and in your points of view. If you think that with something that asks you is a manipulation, be sharp and say NO.
5. Avoid negative emotions. Recognize guilt, remorse, grief and other feelings that can make you vulnerable. If you learn to know yourself, you will recognize when an emotion is provoked by another person and it will be easier for you to eliminate them.
6. Learn skills that allow you to improve your communication and your knowledge of people. Here you have an NLP course in which you will learn exact techniques for it.
I hope you have served the article to learn how to get away from toxic people. It is the definitive action to improve your daily life.
To have as little contact with them as possible. Often, that means cutting them off completely or choosing to never associate with them to begin with. Sometimes, however, you can't do that because they are ex-spouses with whom you have minor children together. If the toxicity of an ex-spouse is due to some type of personality disorder where bad behavior is motivated by a desire to get a reaction out of another person, the best course of action is often feigning apathy towards their horrible behavior. From what I've been told by people who've gone through this is that they will eventually realize that they are going to have to get their reaction from somewhere else and stop tormenting you.
The best way to deal with toxic people is to disassociate yourself from them. Toxicity is contagious. The more you associate with toxic people, listen to them or exchange bankers with them, the easier for you to be affected by their toxicity. So the easiest way to deal with them is to disassociate yourself from them or ignore them completely.
When the toxic person understands that you don't consider their existence, they'll leave you alone. But the moment you start giving them attention or responding to their toxicity angrily, you're giving them the go ahead to keep hurting you. Toxic people find joy in bringing others down and the best way to handling them is by completely ignoring them
Complete avoidance if necessary.
I've learned something over the years. Toxic people are a waste of your time. How do I classify someone as toxic?
All those people I just listed...
Get them the hell out of your life if possible. They are parasites to your well being.
The best way is to get them out of your life as quickly as possible. Do not associate with toxic people.