Wow ... wow wow ... down to relationship and health advice ? The number of topics is certainly expanding although i'm not sure some of those questions are fit to ask anywhere but at a doctors ...
As for the love issue , i'm not sure how you would have a one rule-fits-all to see if someone loves you because people express feelings in different ways and in my slightly extensive opinion love is not what you get in the first months, its what endures over time. Its not what you like, its what you can bear with hahah ... something along those lines without getting too Nietschze about it.
I feel safe to say it's nothing like a twilight novel and if it doesnt know hard times it will very likely turn out to be little pink balloon that pops at the very first thorn it runs into in the beautiful rosebush.
As for the matter of STDs? Well yes, i thought i might take two at once since the userbase and number of questions seems to increase and i'm still not sure i want to do more than one post per day (or can, for that matter) without losing too much of my already thin-stretched remnant of a brain. (you can blame the inconsistency of topics on whatever label in your dsm makes your feel safe and comfortable if you have the need to classify me, but whatever it is, its gonna be more complex than that)
I think first of all you need to leave the morals out and see sex for what it is .
If you live in the illusion that "god" will be your condom as long as you're righteous (or worse stories i have heard over the years) then i doubt you will be very much protected.
I personally don't believe in gods who care but even if one single one did (hard to believe in this world) then i'm sure that's not how that works
I think your best chance is to not have sex at all ... that should give you a fairly big chance of not contracting anything, but you could still step in a needle ... maybe even get hepatitis from sharing a cigarette or joint in some cases ... possibbelleyy ...
After that would come trusted partners ... questions is "how much can you trust somebody". How much can you trust somebody NOT to go outside a set circle of people so as no one will contract anything from the outside (sounds a bit cult ? maybe, but like i said, i don't do Salems Lot) It's probably not easy because shifting sharing partners usually lead to complications one way or another.
That still doesnt mean : wait until marriage and never have sex with anyone except your first wife ... (but it should if you vow to do so, because that's a promise a VOW, its nothing externally moral, its part of the foundation of trust in a relationship, IF YOU CHOOSE TO DO THAT)
Well ... if you're waiting for me to go mister Macky on your arse like "dreughs are baaed, dont do dreughs" ... you might be barking up the wrong cat ... i would usually end up saying something like "don't do more dreughs than you can drive" since in the end its all choices and personal responsibility ...
One of my signatures on the site i probably been the longest on says : "free speech was meant to be free for all, how can ANYONE grown up in a nanny state?"
When all your choices are made for you its silly to think YOU will be able to change your kids diapers if you never had to take yours off for even one day, oisnt it?
so then i say something like that and i end up with both the hippies and the nazis on my back ... because, like it or not, sweet baby ....
the left and the right wing ? (im sure you heard the metafor with the bird) keep diffrerent norms but tend to keep the same morals, even more so the further you shift to either extreme, the bigger the similarity appears, thats because
as i envision them, they stand back to back on a circle, but space is warped right, so from their point of view they stand face to face on the opposite extreme of one line
Before i end up with an essay ... on the STDs, condoms ... i suppose .... but thats so much hassle even without morals a steady partner will over time be a better choice and if you didnt you should get a test. I havent in ages (and its NOT a moral or awkward thing, it would just be too much complication for me to be in a relation, until i can help myself i wont try to help someone else like that ... something along those lines) i havent but i still get my blood tested twice a year , for about anything from STD to "dreugghs" to any imbalance that might show deeper darker disease ... so far so good
(sound a lot different from .... ooohw , yea, i guess it does, and whatever comes after might sound a lot different from this since i am a living being ... complex adaptive system, opinionated, but there's a red herring (theres probably more like a school of fish swimming through in different directions, theres some kind of pattern and consistency to me, even after all)
So, one more thing then maybe ... its about responsibility , you KNOW how to avoid it, its totally up to you really. And its still a chance game, something might go wrong, just like birth control pills arent sure fire, so can condoms tear and rip up, or you could have some minor wound and sh-t happens during oral sex ... plenty of options where it can happen without you being evil ... see ?
Just wanted to add something on the sex workers ... that too is not black & white. That would depend on the area you're in because laws are different in different places. IMO the more illegal prostitution is, the more chance you'll have at people with infections because since they're OUT-lawed they also have no protection from it ... here in Hellgium, its not legal, but not illegal, there's certain regulations, girls need to have a shower in their "workplace" for instance , and other things
but its still a pimpgame, no doubt (yea gangsterdam brussels) ... if you take the wrong turn at the airport you might see hahah
most girls wont LET you without a condom, i think they're fairly responsible there, its their livelihood after all, if they contract it, its game over
then theres not only the difference between legal zones there's euhm
you have your €50 girl ... you have your €1500 a night hi class escort , and you have your heroin junkie who would do it for a fix ...
even at the risk of sounding elitist there, i dont think that needs much explaining ...
SO .... barely anything in this world is black & white or has a yes or no answer
and neither does this ... wow ... in case you thought i lost my mind in the last days ? i prefer to turn 45 without realizing it or i will get depressed for the rest of the year that i lost another year of my life to hell.
So maybe this can soothe a little, i still have a few synapses going at it
but there's no guarantee that cant happen again in a year ... i doubt it ever will if i have a decent income because i would have decent things to do but when you got 20 you can get a beer, when you got 200 you can go out a night , right ? 2000 might get you a holiday, after that the zeroes might be worth something
01:46 am .... still on time :p
yay me .... as i like to say ... paper law is a cultural, localilzed political phenomenon, it rarely has anything to do with ethics or morals but i trust my own compass any day of the week before i would any of theirs
I don't want to repeat medical advice here, but one rule I set for myself helped me avoid STDs: I vowed never to get drunk when I was expecting to have sex with a stranger. I'd heard too many stories about people losing control under the influence of alcohol or drugs and taking risks they wouldn't take when sober.
Now I know what the main reason is why young people like to go out drinking, but you can have a beer or two and feel relaxed enough to flirt. In my thirties, I still went out drinking with friends, but then I stuck to having fun with my clothes on.
Straight people can't imagine how much discipline and luck was needed to survive the AIDS crisis in the 1980s and 90s as a man dating men. I only went to gay bathhouses and sex parties that explicitly banned sex without a condom (even between partners). It helped that I didn't need to drink to work up the courage to ask another guy to have sex. And to avoid misunderstandings, we'd usually be content to have oral sex only.
I think @rudyardcatling is right it is probably best to seek this kind of information through a doctors or from your local sex education centre.
When we were at school we were taught about sex education from the age of 10 and even though it was the very basics we learned a lot from it.
My mum also taught me a lot as she works for G U M clinic and has been a nurse in the field for the past 45 years so has a lot of useful advice.
From what I know the best way to not catch a sexual disease is not to have sex, but where is the fun in that. so the next best way is to make sure you use protection such as a condom or a femidom,
both the condom and the femidom act as a barrier to stop women from getting pregnant and these are used to also stop the spread of sexual diseases. if you want to be extra careful got to your nearest G U M clinic and ask for both you and your partner to have some test done, they don't take forever for the results to come back and it is always better to be safe than sorry.
I think be careful choosing a partner for intercourse. Better do not carelessly release sexual desire. See who you are with, check who the person is and how he or she is. Having more than one partner is very dangerous, especially if the couple has just known, and do not know the background. My advice, to avoid sexually transmitted diseases, to have good bodies with one partner, or when having sex use a condom to be more secure.