Worrying about what other people think or feeling that I had to fulfill a role placed on me by society. Growing older is wonderfully freeing. I can say what I really think, do what I really want to do, wear a wildly patterned dress or go barefoot walking down the street. In short, I can do ANYTHING without feeling that I have to meet some phony standard of behavior for my gender, my age, or my social position.
I have found that the older I get, the less I am judged. Or perhaps they're just saying "Oh don't pay any attention to her, she's just a crazy old lady". I was afraid of growing older, afraid I would have nothing to talk about except the things I heard older people discussing - their latest surgery, the cost of their medications, the lack of phone calls from grandchildren. But I've found that instead of that boring, sterile existence, I can be who I really am, true to myself, and free to enjoy all the things around me.
And as I grow older, I find myself drawn to those who are younger. I revel in their energy, their thoughts and ideas, and I feel so much hope as I watch them face the future and shape that future into the world they want to live in.
So I guess if I had to sum it up in one sentence it would be that the people of my own generation matter less and people of the generations behind me matter more.
Money. As I am growing older, I am having this sense of realization that money cannot make you happy. Obviously it helps but you can still do so much with less money than having shitloads sitting in your account with no time in your hand to spend it. My goals in life would require decent amount of cash flow every month but slowly and gradually I have developed new goals that do involve money at all or at least very less of it. Spending time with my friends and family or travelling to a place I have never been to excites me much more than getting a $3000-$5000 paycheck every month.
Note: Question in the "blog's title" was asked on @musing. And above^ is my answer.
I used to be a perfectionist, I wanted everything in my life to go as planned and this made me had several episodes of anxiety disorders and depression because obviously there is nothing like perfection in life. As I grew older, I realized that my life and happiness is more important than the outrageous demands I placed on my self, and I decided to love and accept my self, failures, success and process.
I used to worry about what people thought of me, so I always try to *tune myself down a little*. It was beginning to choke me till one day I said *fuck it! If you don't love me the way I am, then get the fuck out!!!*.. Besides I found out that my life was way better than most of the people that had stupid opinions about me.
I had this crazy expectation of what and who my future man should be. As I grew older, I found out that all these years I always fall in love with those expectations and not what the men are made of, e.g, I will fall in love with a tall dark and handsome man without knowing who or what he is, if he is a psycho or a serial cheat etc. As I grew older, I found out that those expectations didn't matter, what matters is a persons content, values and heart..
I say selflessness. As I work my ass up to provide financial support to my family and some friends and relatives, I get to think about prioritizing myself now or more to say, I should carry myself first before carrying anyone. For the past years in my life, I was so lucky to have a lot of opportunities online and offline. I managed to help everyone around me without helping myself first with my problems so I usually end up untidy inside and outside. But now, seeing that my work have done so much change on the people around me, it is time to pour some investments within myself. A little bit selfishness will be added up to my life as I grow older.
People. I used to think that the more people one has in their life the greater their chances of surviving difficult times. However, that doesn't seem to be the case or my reality. I have learnt to depend on myself and my abilities not that of someone else. Yes, there are a few people who will come into your life and help, but one should not depend on that because chances are rare. Most people rather take than give.
It doesn't also get better. I have learnt that it doesn't always get better and sometimes things might get worse. You cannot rely on the notion that your life will change for the better, especially when it's comes to things that beyond your power. So instead of hoping that things get better, I tell myself that I have a fighting chance if I try to do something. It increases my chances of winning even though the odds might be against me. Life is a gamble. We cannot anticipate every event with success. So I don't get too hard on myself when things get bad (easier said than done). Like I have said several times on this platform, life owes me nothing. So I am grateful for everything that I have, no matter how little because a lot of people have less.
As a matter of fact, l care less of most things i used to really pay attention to when I was younger. When i was younger, I used to hang out with friends gisting and gossiping about unncessary stuff. But as I have grown older, I don't have time to even call my girls out for a drink, because this days, I'm so drowned in thought of becoming a bosslady.
I have an ideology that it is me, myself and I that can hcreate that beautiful future I really crave, and I can't achieve this by still thinking like a child. I have to step up and do need the needful.
I no longer go out to watch movies for hours, rather I attain business seminars, that will elevate, widen my knowledge about being a successful business lady.
As I'm growing older , all I care about is becoming miss independent.
When we grew up and get maturity, we came to realize what is most important for us in our life and what is less valuable. With whom we should hang around and whom to neglect.
Life gives us the opportunity to choose and we should choose wisely. Giving value to them/ that who doesn't add any value in our life is harmful for our mental and social development.
As I grow older I came to understand that, what people think about me, has no value in my life. It doesn't add any additional meaning and doesn't give me any advance.
There is a saying in my country- " If you starve for days, nobody will come closer to you for help, but if you cook aromatic rice every one will come to you with a bowl to you."
That is so true in our society. Others though about me doesn't have much to help in my living. It doesn't mean that I don't care about others application or guide. What I wants to mean is, people's perspectives about my dress or lifestyle does not affect me any more. My behavior to them are the reflection of their way of behaving with me.
I don't care much about what they would think if I take the decision or say someone some certain things. I used to live what I believe and always give the thought about - my attitude should not hurt others.
I respect them who respect me. And don't give a damn about others negative thought. As simple as that.
I think the thing that seems less important as we get older is quantity.
This means, as you get older it's not the time to find as many friends as possible, but it's time to keep the best among them.
For example, it used to be so busy joining various communities, with the aim of finding as many friends as possible. Busy traveling to find friends with diverse cultural backgrounds, just so that they are rich insights.
Now, the effort seems futile. When slowly, the number of friends is getting smaller every day.
Friendship levels also cannot be measured by how often they meet, but how often they are connected at all times. it is no longer able to meet as often as before because of busyness and responsibility as adults acquire your days.
Oh alot, you know as you grow older, there are things you realize don't matter and as they don't add any value to your life and growth. Here are some of those things for me.
1) keeping many friends, especially friends that are not on sync with my future person that i want to be, friends that will not fuel my Fire , encourage me to do more and give me constructive criticism, and all the good positive energy that i need.
2)Try to be liked by everyone. Just like the point above, i gave up on trying to impress people because, well let's face it if we don't click, we just dont, lets stop prolonging any agonies.
Truly, when we grow up, certain things need to be cut down, else, we cut the luxuries of garbage into the future together with the cost of bearing it. While younger, I felt everyone should have friends and the many of friends you have would determine your worth in the society.
However, as I grew up, I discovered that many friends did not really matter to my success stories. I've learnt to be independent and see the intrinsic value in me display. This gives me the fortitude to handle my challenges and grow in them.
While growing up, I was made to believe that education is the bedrock pof success and societal development. Hence, all that matter to me then was how I could secure a great future with education. Growing up and seeing that my dad was no more to sponsor my education, I was made to see the reality of life that you can become whatever you wish if you decide to. I took up some jobs, learnt trade and lo today, I am all out to acquire skill and do business all my life.
This is because educated in my locality have nothing to offer. The schools have become another level-field for corruption. Teachers, schools, [parent abate their children cheat in examination and the whole scenario of education becomes so disgusting.
To me education now matter little.
People and Friends. When I was younger, I thought having as many people around me as possible would be beneficial. I thought it would be easier to deal with life if I know a lot of people. That's just wrong. You need to rely on yourself and learn to deal with your problems. Having a lot of friends is also something useless if they are not true friends. I'd rather have just a few friends, real, true friends then a huge crowd that turns its back on me when I need help.
Fashion. Fashion is something you think is needed when you're younger. Now I dress as i please, I have my own style and don't care about that's fashionable and what's not.
Pleasing people. This is actually a tough one, you have to learn to say no and be happy instead of making other people happy while you're miserable. It'll take a while to get used to it, it's hard at the beginning, but it worth it.
1.....Sex.....Alright, beyond any doubt despite everything it makes a difference. A ton. Only much not as much as when we were more youthful. What's more, well increasingly depleted. Perhaps on the grounds that each one of those hormones coursing through my circulatory system have died down a few. Yet additionally on the grounds that occasionally an extraordinary discussion, over a light lit supper, with a glass of wine with my better half is similarly as fulfilling. Obviously that frequently prompts something different.
2......Reliability.... I used to fixate on it. Mine and other people's. When somebody was late to an occasion it may wreck it for some time. I've discovered that occasionally it's unavoidable. A few people are dependable. Some never check the time. What's more, little of it merits destroying a generally exquisite time for. Goodness, and time is dashing by so perhaps this will back it off a smidge.
3......Achievements. I used to be hyper objective centered. Furthermore, that was great as I've achieved a ton. Be that as it may, it was likewise terrible in light of the fact that occasionally I missed the little delights of life while concentrated on achieving one all the more enormous thing. So I've figured out how to concentrate on the little delights of every day. Attempt to achieve something great every day. What's more, let the significant objectives sort of deal with themselves. Incredibly they do.
4.....Stress. I used to stress over everything. Some of the time I'd stress that I wasn't stressing and I'd missed something. However, stressing over the future or the past made me miss the delight of now. I understood little of what I stressed over happened in any case. Furthermore, the vast majority of that I couldn't control. Furthermore, I couldn't change the past. So I chose to quit stressing. The outcome has been significantly more happiness and zero additional issues.
5.....Rightness. I used to contend about a ton of things. Demonstrating I was correct was critical. Individuals expected to see my point of view. However, regularly they didn't. What's more, honestly it ruined some generally extraordinary occasions. So I've discovered that being correct all the time isn't so amazing. I'd preferably not demonstrate the amount I'm correct and rather demonstrate the amount I adore. It's astounding how right that feels. What's more, how little I care about being correct.
When we were kids, we are very immature.. We tend to do childish things, not withstanding the fact that we have hurt someone. We are so insensitive to others feelings. It is only our self that we care.
But as we grow up, even if we were hurt, even if someone we love injure us, we tend not to care to protect us from trouble. We become sensitive to the feelings and needs of others.
As we grow older, things that cannot provide food on the table do not seem to matter to us. Because as we grow, we now reach a level of maturity to understand that everything is vanity.
Although we will still value sex, but we tend not to take sex to really matter so much like we used to take it to be a do or foe affair when we were way younger.
How people feel about us or what people say about us does not matter to us.
Making our family and friends seems to matter a lot to us.
Things that cannot keep us happy, we tend to stay away from them as we grow older
We might still value purchasing gadgets, but it will not be like the way we used to when we were young.
We do things the way we feel we should do them when we grow old and not what others might want us to do so what people expect we do does not matter to us.
Everything about life, friends and cheap talks. I learnt to be me and learn to let go. When i said i grew up, i grew up indeed not just growing up but learning to let go and leering it be, learning to make my own decisions. I lost interest in friends and peoples view about me.
I think the number of friends you have. When I was younger I had loads of friends. I have realised that you only need one or two real friends who will be there for you when you need them.
I used to want the latest phone or latest gadget. These days I am happy with what I have and will only replace it if it breaks. I don't care what others have as I am happy with what I have. I don't need to have the latest and best and have passed this on to my children as well.
This is all about building a good relationship and the best reputation in your family & friends. Because this is the most important thing in yur life that you build yourself instantly amongst to around your peoples. You will feel something positive from peoples who are close you.
As I am growing day by day, i learning something bad and good about peoples and the happening situation of life. Many peoples come to my life and they have taught me a bad or good lesson for me. This is a very common thing you pick a bad or good lesson from someone in a relationship or business. Well that's all happening to in your daily routine of life.
You thought all peoples arround you are good as like you are good or bad, but no this is absolutely wrong thought. There we live where all type of peoples exists, so we should never think that all peoples are the same. Some are goods and some are bad to teaching the lesson of life. We should live life bravely with the inner confidence that's the key to spending happily life.