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A man and a woman who is good at sex?

 sexually, is it better to be a man or a woman? The question seems more adapted to the playgrounds than to the dinners of the intelligentsia. It resurfaces, however, with the development of a masculinist "thought". 

 Women would be sexually all-powerful, they would find fulfillment in their fantasies by snapping fingers, each would have a chance with the most beautiful men - and it would be really, really too unfair. 

his presumed female superiority goes back at least to the myth of Tiresias: having spent seven years in the body of a woman, the latter is summoned by Juno to decide the debate of "who has the biggest" (enjoyment). Prophet's answer: women would have orgasms seven times more powerful than men's. For having said such a thing, he will lose his sight and be offered a stick. (I leave you judges of the appropriateness of the consolation prize).

 What about the facts? Is the triumph of women a fantasy, a paranoid intuition (sheep graze better in the neighbor's field), an unconscious feeling of inferiority (men do not produce babies)? A simple way to be complained? 

 The "market" of seduction is not deregulated 

 Let's start with sexual opportunities. Theoretically, the male demand is so much higher than the female supply that women dictate their conditions (and sleep with Brad Pitt). Only, the "market" of seduction is not deregulated ... and men report more partners than women! Between recourse to prostitution and homosexual adventures, the imbalance is compensated. 

Also remember that men avoid slut-shaming, this social pressure that will translate the "guilt of sluts". When they offer their penis to strangers between two Xantia on a family highway area, it's a private affair. But when women are freaking, the honor of the family, the community, even the nation, is at stake! Their belly went from tribal resource to religious property.

 Now let's go to desire. Men are supposed to think about sex every seven seconds: this is not true (fortunately), but their physical and self-reported response is actually stronger than that of women (Chivers, 2007). 

 Brain imaging 

 However! The female sexual appetite is more varied, since they react positively to heterosexual sex videos, homosexual, and bonobosexual (I speak well of the monkeys). The relative "coldness" of women can only be considered in a repressive cultural context. For without even talking about individual variability, we do not have a control group of sexually free women to desire as they want, when they want. As a result, we do not know how women would want "naturally", without having heard from an early age expressions like "get screwed". 

 Ditch to orgasms 

 However, to enjoy higher enjoyments, it would still be necessary to reach them. The differential access to pleasure between men and women has a name as dramatic as the statistics it covers: the orgasm gap.

Last week, I recalled that one-third of men reach orgasm on their first night, and 85% later, while women leave at 10%, to reach a cruising speed of 68% (Review of General Psychology, 2012).

Other studies confirm this effectiveness of the male body (or at least, the effectiveness of our sexual practices to satisfy men - and their propensity to leave women behind); 95% of heterosexual men usually have orgasms during a relationship, for 65% of women (Chapman University, California). 

 Age and health 

 Worse still: when we focus the "match" on gender differences (to sum up: women access sex but men enjoy it), it zaps any mention of homosexuality, bisexuality, preferences.

We also forget the crucial factors that are the age of the person or his good health. A simple example: if the paths of female enjoyment were naturally irrational, how do you explain that lesbians enjoy more often than other women (86% versus 65%)? (No, their clitoris is not the size of a ham-butter.)

This question of the "distribution" of women's and men's benefits blurs the public conversation as much as our private practices. Especially if we do not talk about it. But talking about it can also strengthen the clichés! Hence the need for a cautious approach: it would be necessary to redo the match, but also the very idea of match. Notice, it's seasonal. 


It depends on the individual and not the gender involved,some men are good at sex same way some women are good at sex too,being good at sex depends on practice and experience and good knowledge about sex...


It depends on the individuals. Practice makes perfect they say. If one is good and the other one is bad you will find the one who is good will teach the other one.

 Sex is  a journey of discovery and that is what makes it special.