Long distance relationship, what do you think about this?
18 Discussions

I can tell you of my experience with my own long distance relationship.  We met through an online dating site, but were really too far apart, about 300 mi, to actually date.  But we so enjoyed our conversations that we continued to talk without thinking about making a relationship of it.  The more we talked, the more we found we had in common.  This was about 15 years ago and Yahoo Messenger was a big thing then.  We got webcams and started video chatting almost every evening.  How many couples who live together actually spend 1 - 2 hours every day looking at each other and talking (and listening!).  We decided to start meeting in person, at a halfway point and we just weren't interested in seeing other people.  We got to meet maybe a couple of times a month.  There were many differences between us.  He was from Chicago, a big city, and I was from a small rural town of only 7,000.  I was divorced and had 2 high school aged sons, he'd never been married and had no children.  He was black and I was white.  But we were soul mates and fell in love.  We continued this long distance relationship for about 4 years, then he decided to make the move to rural American.  We got married 6 years ago and have a very happy relationship.  Long distance is far from perfect, and you have doubts and insecurities, but the same thing can happen when you live in the same household.  But I think we really got to know each other, really talked to each other, during those long distance years.  And the time you spent together was special and you had time to miss each other in between.  

It's really like any other relationship, it depends on the two people who are in it.

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I have tried it a couple times and have found it does not work for me. the constant lack of physical contact is too taxing on me. I also hate talking on the phone so that is pretty much a deal breaker. 

I don't see anything wrong when two people is in long distance relationship as long as it doesn't affect anything very important. If two people are really committed despite their distance, and willing to sacrifice because that decision will eventually lead to something worthwhile, then there's no problem. Of course they will consider becoming loyal despite their distance.

I have some friends who were in a long distance relationship which became successful, and now they were married couples. One story about my friend who was in a relationship with a guy since high school. The guy went to the US as an immigrant being petitioned by their parents. Their relationship continues and even became stronger. After about a decade, they got married and now living happily together stateside. As long as you are really committed in a relationship, it will succeed no matter how the distance is.

I personally think that Long Distance Relationship is one of the challenging types of relationships. It may or may not be successful depending on the people involved in the relationship. Actually, this could be a matter of culture as well. 

Trust and communication are essential keys in keeping such a relationship. One must trust his or her partner. If this is absent in their relationship, then having LDR would be an utter defeat. On would doubt the other and worries like "What if he/she is seeing someone else in that place?" often cross the mind. There would be a lot of "what ifs" in such a relationship. but when there is trust, then there'll be no room for doubts and worries.

Communication is another integral key in maintaining such relationship. Being physically away from the person you love is emotionally draining. However, when you update each other and communicate, then the physical absence would be filled in. Of course, longing to see the person would be there, however communication would somehow help. There'd be more eagerness to see each other again.

Earlier, I said it could be a matter of culture as well. I have a number of Korean friends and acquaintances and most of them told me that majority of Koreans believe in "Out of sight, out of mind." That's the reason why LDR isn't really effective for them. Well, this doesn't apply to all, but more often it does.

Anyway, I still believe that love is powerful. If it's real, then it'll go against all odds. Distance and time wouldn't be a problem. :)

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I think its a big issue that is manageable - if "Love" is very strong.

When love is so strong for couples, faith and trust is never an issue. In fact, it binds their inner selves into submitting to their partner. "Communication" is the key because it is the only way to feel like "to be" with your partner.

When love is strong, that will bind everything. The couple will always long for each other, inspiring and supporting their goals towards a better future individually and as a couple. 

So for me, its an issue but will never be a hindrance. Issue in the sense that its hard to be not connected physically by someone you love. But life always has a test, you know soon you'll be together.

As long as you communicate, it will never be an issue for both of you. Also, allocate time to your partner.

Constant Communication is key with LDR.

I was in one, for couple years and in between us was a 6hour time difference.

He made the most effort and taught me the importance Of communication. It required alot of sacrifice and inconvenience for both parties. It was a little bit over done, so i thought at that moment but as i look back now, its what glued us together over the years.

He made sure we spoke early in my Morning , before i went to school and before his bed time, during the day, as he woke up and while i was still carrying out my day, at night, before i sleptq

I laughing to myself. This is . . . . . . . how do I say, unbelievable. For me, Long distance relationship are totally shit fish. Never work for me, either to my friend. There's so much problem to stay with this kind relationship. But it doesn't mean it never works. It just you need a very ultra super duper mega uber believe to your partner. Take my friend for example.

They have been throughout this kind of relationship for . . . . . . let's just say 7 years? Or less. And soooo much issues happened during that time. How can I know? Because both of them is my friend, and they told me what happens. Normally the issues that happens is about being too close with someone. Sometimes the dude posted a photo with his college friend that is literally woman, and it's seem's they're really close. The girl saw this photo and then booomm it's just happens. Starting from asking, counter with argument, but in the end they stay survive from the tides. That's why trust is a must in order the relationship need to be okay.

Hope you can get through it . . .

Long distance relationship can only be successful if both parties involved are willing to make it so.

My first relationship was a long distance relationship and we did really well. We had about 5 years together and the love basket stronger by the day.

But another relationship that I got in and he had to move out of town. Immediately he moved, he called and said he couldn't deal. He couldn't cope with the long distance ish and so we broke up.

So, for long distance relationships to work, both parties involved have to be ready to pay the price, male the sacrifice for it to work.

Here are some of the tips to make long distance relationships work for you:

Communication: Communication is the bedrock of any relationship. Even short distance relationships need constant communication to keep it going, how much more a long distance relationship? It is important for both parties to always stay in touch, despite the distance. They say, out of sight is out of mind, but with consistent communication, you can still keep the relationship juicy.

Loyalty: If you really want your relationship to work, despite the long distance, loyalty is very key. Once you start cheating on your partner, chances are you'd start thinking he/she is doing same. This could cause mistrust and issues start arising.

Trust: For your long distance relationship to work, the both of you have to trust each other. There's no way it could work out perfectly if you do not trust him/her. You'd start having doubts about him/her and start questioning their movement. Trust is one vital key in a long distance relationship and both parties involved must have complete trust for each other.

Other factors may contribute to making a long distance relationship successful but the truth is, it will require the effort of both parties to make it work.

Cheers, JI

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It’s an experience.

And every situation is different.

I did once - started long-distance, while foreseeing that we’d both move together in time due to a job opportunity that never panned out. I ended up moving down to the US with her - though it was on a timeline due to immigration policy, came to point where I essentially had to choose marriage or breakup, as returning to long-distance wasn’t really a viable option.

IF both people are clear on the conditional limitations it entails and agree on accepting them - OR that some MAJOR life changes are in order to advance to next levels, it COULD work. Whether it’s actually WORTH it or not, is up for each individual to decide first and foremost.

And then again, sometimes it just HAPPENS. And even if shit goes sideways, when it could have been easily foreseen, there’s all some valuable learning and growth to be had through it...

This is dependent on the values of the individuals who are seeking a long term relationship. 

Expectations, realistic or otherwise should be taken into consideration. 

I'm personally pretty open minded, but also, realistic.

What I mean is, if someone is halfway across the world, I have to wonder if this is something that would ever become a realistic possibility. 

It's dependent on a host of factors, but some of the more important factors might be, is it economically possible? Is one, or both of you wealthy? Or is financial liquidity a luxury that neither of you have?

If the answer is the latter, assessing the likeliness of the success of this relationship needs to be approached in a realistic manner. 

I've heard of people maintaining an exclusive long distance relationship for upwards of 10 years. To me, this is insane, but it's because of what I adhere to in terms of values. I want personal contact in a relationship, in the physical sense. I am not cool with maintaining exclusivity with someone for this period of time, with long distance being a factor, period, it's just too long for me, and not realistic for success, in my opinion. 

Now if it were, maybe one year, at the absolute maximum, and we've established a level of closeness that feels genuine and realistic, and there is a high chance of bridging the gap, then I would likely consider it. 

Voice, and or video chat would also be a must, IMO. 

More often than not, you get a sense for someone in text, and you think you might know them, and then all of a sudden, you start to realize, they are not who you thought they were, and they might also be thinking this about you. So, I would exercise some caution, especially if you've never met the individual in person. 

Making connections online can be a great thing, but it's also a strange territory, and there are plenty of strange people, who love to impose a false image of themselves. I believe they refer to this as catfishing if I'm not mistaken. 

It wouldn't be my first choice for a relationship search. 

Human contact is an important factor in relationships, at least the intimate kind. 

Assess your values, and assess the realism of the relationship, and act according to logic. Sometimes, following your heart can be dangerous for your well being if it's not realistic. 

I hope this perspective helps. 

The way people deal with long distance relations depends largely on the cause of the distance. Was it a new job? Economic hardships at home? Was it because of a distant family? Did you meet someone online? 

The next big questions are about how one will eventually resolve the distance.  If neither side of the relation is willing to give on the future location of the relation; then the relationship is probably doomed. 

If partner A says: I want to live in the country and will NEVER live in the city and partner B says: I want to live in the city and will NEVER live in the country; then a long term relation is unlikely to survive.

So, I guess the success of a long distance relation depends largely on the vision the couple has of a future home. If there is not a shared vision; then the couple has a problem.

My sweetheart and I have been at long distance from each other for barely four years now. We met just before I headed off to college and now as an alumni I am getting ready to move him here.

It requires a ton of trust in your accomplice. The other individual can undermine you at whenever and you won't think about it. They can escape with it. The main affirmation you will have is total trust and confidence in your accomplice frankly with you. I have no issues confiding in my sweetheart and the equivalent goes both ways.

We are fantastically confiding in each other however we additionally speak with one another transparently and sincerely and we both feel that while swindling would be a horrible thing to experience, we know our relationship and our adoration for each other is sufficient for that not to break us.

We likewise realize that if both of us at any point required an open relationship this is an exchange we can present to each other. However, neither of us need that.

On the off chance that you don't have trust in your accomplice, a long-separate relationship will be torment for you.

Moreover, it requires great relational abilities. You can't embrace, kiss or utilize quite a bit of any non-verbal correspondence so your capacity to impart viably turns out to be critical.

You have to organize your relationship also. Individuals who don't organize their connections or don't 'have room schedule-wise' to Skype or call their accomplice will make the whole circumstance hopeless. My beau and I are in relatively steady correspondence. We get a kick out of the chance to do everything together. We watch motion pictures together, have date evenings and begin TV arrangement together or play web based recreations. We are closest companions as much as we are accomplices. What's more, we make forfeits in different parts of our lives to have time together.

It is a gigantic duty. Individuals will pass judgment on you for it, invested individuals will consider your relationship unimportant will at present attempt to seek after things with you or your accomplice. Individuals will guarantee your relationship isn't genuine, that your accomplice most likely undermines you, or disclose to you it will fizzle.

You must have the responsibility and solidarity to look past the antagonism and rely upon each other.

He is 100% justified, despite all the trouble. He is my accomplice and my closest companion and the individual I pick and am focused on. I couldn't care less what any other individual considers or predicts about that. We are in a cheerful, solid, long haul relationship and it didn't require any outside approval.

I think it all depends on the will power of both the lovers. Well, if both parties usually meet, then the chances for the long distance relationship to prolong would usually be high. However, if both parties have never met at all and they are in a long distance relationship, it is as if the relationship never happened. But then I think the most important thing is the feeling of having that person that is beside at all times that makes the relationship worth while.

If the relationship is a long distance relationship and both parties are constantly busy and seldom have the time to even meet up or go on a date, both parties will feel a lack of something in their life.

I have friends who are in a relationship with someone who they never met and are happy to some extend. Maybe it has been going on for years. I think it's the feeling of a sense of belonging that makes that kind of relationship worth it. In the distance future, more and more people I guess are going to be in this sort of relationship.

Long Distance Relationship is a pretty bad idea and here is why I feel so

Long Distance Relationship mostly exhibits in Virtual world. From virtual world I mean on phone via social media and calls. You remain truly out of touch from the ground reality and I had such a long distance relationship which was ended up in nothing. 

Physical world is where we live and it is better than virtual talks. We live in reality so we believe in it. And at least here you know pretty much more than just calls or media files. I don't mean to say that it is a bad idea but in my context it was a nightmare and I ended up. 

I stand with reality and the scope of long distance relationship is like a blind-fold game so if you are 100% confident then give it a shot or else leave it, before ending up with uncomfortable state.

I think is a great learning curve for both side as it includes the most important element in a relationship which is trust, independent and embrace. Especially couple started off with LDR is more confidence in their relationship.

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Thank you for asking a nice question. I would say that the distance helps to strengthen the relationship. The distance is as much as the relationship is as deep as it is. We all know that our own people are far away, we are desperate to see him. Hope he will come when we will see him. In the same way, there is a similarity between relationships. The greater the distance, the better the relationship is.

When someone with you may have a bad relationship with him for some reason. If he is away, there is no chance of a bad relationship. So I would say that distance relationship is better

Firstly relationship is not about the distance two couples are.it is about the love they have for eachother.

If there is love and trust between two couples in any circumstances they find theirselves they shouldn't be any problem since the love is there.

But I do advise people not to go for long distance relationship because ladies mostly have a fragile heart they fall in love easily especially for someone whose always there for them all the time in short someone who gives them the attention they need.

If a guy like that propose to them it won't be easy for them to turn him down since the guy was around when he needed a comforter and someone that will motivate in times of downfall though she might have a guy that she's dating but because he ix not always there for her when she needed him. This will make her love for the guy to continue to start fading while the new guy will be the one winning her heart.

So in short I don't support long distance relationship it is better to be with her, take care of her,support her when she needs your support and comfort her when she needs your comforter before another guy from somewhere start playing your role... Thanks guys 👌

It works for some

a terrible idea for most.

Much as with any kind of relationship, 

you rely on the other person to be as truthful with you, 

and as loyal to you as it is possible.

But most people, when deprived of physical intimacy, 

turn to either jealousy and paranoid thoughts, 

or, worse, 

seeking fulfillment anywhere they receive attention from.

And, sure, if you [both of you] can survive short periods of being apart, 

no longer than 3 months at a time,

your long term relationship may last years to come.

However, there needs to be a goal in mind.

There must be "the day" you're looking forward to.

Just being in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship, 

you're just having a pen pal at that point.

You need to schedule how you keep the relationship alive.

You plan ahead.

If it's a 10 hour flight to get to each other, you set a date, and book tickets.

I'm sure it's do-able.

People sacrifice more time to do less important things.

And you know what,

at the end of the day it might not work out.

Much like most relationships.

People don't are into 5th or 10th boyfriend or girlfriend before they get married, or even serious about their relationships just because they don't want those to last.

And divorce rates are all time high.

Sad truth is, temptation is everywhere,

good looking, good conversation keepers, smart, funny people,

random encounters with very attractive personalities.

It's all around us, even if you're just 10 hours apart, think about weeks, or months.

And there will be that voice at the back of your head,

maybe this would be better for everyone.

It's not necessarily wrong.

What we fear the most, is to regret missed chances, opportunities. 

I don't know where I'm going with this.

Long distance relationships, 

for me they never worked out.

So I hope I never be separated from my partner for extended periods of time.