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If a girl asks a guy out on a date, who's supposed to pay?
I had an argument with a friend on this matter and I feel that if the guy isn't willing to pay then the girl should pay or they split the bill, after all, he didn't ask for the date, she did. What do you think?

I think it depends on some factors like

1. Culture: some culture still believes that a guy should and always be the one to handle the bills regardless of who asked for the date. In Africa using Nigeria as a case study, we are trained to believe that it is a man's responsibility to take care of a woman and doing little things like paying the bills shows how capable he is at taking care of a woman thereby making him a potential mate. If a Nigerian girl asks you out, just know you are in charge of the bills.

However in western world because of the high level of civilisation and educational exposure, they understand that it is not the man's duty to always pay the bills especially when the lady did the invitation for the date. Overseas, they believe in equality of both gender and so bills are usually split or one of the parties handles it because they already have that understanding.

2. Relationship. Sometimes two people are so close that it doesn't really matter who gave the invite for the date, they are both willing to split the bills and sometimes they are so close that even if the girl did the asking out, she has this understanding that the guy will definitely want to handle the bill because she knows him. Asking a stranger out on a date as a lady, it is expected that the lady handles the bill because it is a formal date and except the guy steps in while she is about paying then she has to handle it.

Having said that I think it is childish to be arguing who pays after an awesome date. I would expect the lady to step in and try to make the payment and wait for the guy to stop her from doing so after all she is the one that asked for the date and even if he doesn't, it's no big deal to handle it

1 Comment

I think it is pretty subjective. Depends on the persons involved a lot and also depends on how long do they know each other. I will give you though my "versions" for such a date.

In the first one the girl should pay the bill at the restaurant if we suppose they're going to a restaurant. I consider that it should be her because she invited the guy out and it would be one her the charge of the bill.

It may sound a bit weird for a woman to pay the bill especially on the first date, but I see it perfectly normal. In my culture if you invite a girl on a first date you should pay the bill so I am thinking that if the girl came with the invitation it should be her.

Then I would also opt for splitting the bill. It would be somehow a date "at the middle of the road" and although the girl had initiative they could both pay.

I consider the version of both paying for the bill the best to do in case the two know each other for some time, but the girl had the initiative to invite the guy on a date.

Although she made the first step considering that they know each other for a while we can assume that they are a bit familiar one with each other and they can split the bill. It's not like they met at the subway and the girl suddenly invited the guy on a date.

If I were to be invited for a date by a girl...again I admit that I would pay the bill if the girl would really be "on my taste". I've been invited before but I don't remember who paid for the bill.

However I had dates where the girl paid for the bill and didn't feel awkward at all. It depends a lot on the person involved in that date. 

That's how I see this type of date. Hope you will find my answer interesting and wish you a great day. Keep on musing!

1 Comment

From my point of view it's up to the man to pay but if the woman wants to pay her share the man should not insist too heavily.

If the woman asks to pay, it may be because she wants to show that she is independent and knows how to take care of herself. By politeness, I would not stifle the independence of the one I like even if I want to pay for the note by gallantry.

That she wants to pay the whole, do half and half, where just his consumptions, I would not insist heavily but I would still propose to pay.

Except in this exceptional case, I would choose to pay the entire bill.

It is a way of proving that we have been well educated, that we have the financial means to assume a relationship, and that we hold the person sufficiently to pay.

Whenever I go to the restaurant with my girlfriend it is me who pays, although each time she brings money to pay. She knows that for me it's a matter of honor to pay, and she is kind enough to let me do it even if she catches up later by paying something else.

It's the choice to make concessions in a couple that makes it stand out.


In my culture, in malaysia, no matter is the girl or guy who ask for a date first, the guy pays. If any guy here who does Dutch, he will never see that girl ever again. Hahahhaha. Unless in a case when the girl really really is wealthy and rich and likes guy that damn much, then the table turns but here usually there is a culture of the manliness in paying for a bill which usually gives the sense of him being able to take care of the girl. And if the girl tries to pay then usually it's a bit offensive in a way to show that she's more manly than him in my culture hahahha. When I first knew that Americans and some other culture pay separately, I was a bit shocked initially but saw it with my own eyes at Mc Donald's one day.

Well, there a good side too meaning everything is counted and the relationship is more independent if both pays separately but it feels rather strange in feeling to do that here. Here if a guy rides a motorbike, it is almost unacceptable for a girl and she won't date him. Only a small portion of the girls here would date a guy who wants to go Dutch. Sorry if it sounds offensive in a way. That's my culture.


This is just my take on the question, 

If the woman invited you out, it's ok if she pays but make sure you are courteous enough to offer paying for her or splitting it. If she declines your offer and pays, then it's all good. It's common courtesy (from where I come from) that whoever is asking for someone else's time should also be considerate about not letting the other person spend more than they should. Never go out without anyone expecting them to pay the bill for you, less disappointments will come from this precaution. 

Long story short, whoever made the invitation should pay but the one receiving the treatment should at least be courteous to offer a split when necessary. 



To me there is only one right answer and the guy pays no matter who asked who out.

That is the right thing to do. The guy didn't have to accept and could have declined. The man should always pick up the tab as that is the way it is always. I have always paid my way whether it is right or wrong on who asked who out. 

It is manners and the way the guys have been raised where i come from. Maybe in other cultures it is different or there is some new rules that i am unaware of. I still think the man should pay anyway.