Since you have said that we can add other things not mentioned in the question, the thought that keeps me up every night is my fear of not being enough. No matter how hard I try to achieve things and be successful, I still see myself as not being enough in my eyes and in the eyes of other people.
"Am I enough as a daughter?" or "As a sister?", I would ask. I always ask this question. Have I done my part being a good daughter, or am I a disappointment to my parents. I always think that every action I make in my life reflects how my parents raised me so whenever I make mistakes, even if they do not seem to be disappointed, I would always blame myself and think of myself as not being enough as a daughter. Also, as a sister because there are days that I think I am causing my sister trouble especially when I was still studying in college and she was the one financing me. I always ask myself "Have I done enough to reciprocate her efforts?".
"Am I enough as a friend?". There are times when my friends face a difficult situation when I ask myself that particular question. "Have I been a good friend?", my friends are like my family members. When they feel down, I will find a way to be there for them and make efforts so they will feel better. However, I always think of myself as not doing enough.
There is what we call the fear of missing out. Even with the achievements I have received, there are just moments in my life when I feel like I am enough and that I am missing out with the joy of life. That I am not doing things I should do and I must do.
Maybe I am just being insecure or I am just being a perfectionist but the thing that hunts me the most is not being enough. Not being enough in my eyes that it hunts me why I think of these thoughts. Not being enough in other people's eyes that I want to strive harder but no matter what, there will always be a voice in my head telling me that maybe I am, I just have to believe I do.
For me it is neither relationship nor career...but it is fear.
Yes I live with fear and my sense of fear is really intense and I do not even able to describe or establish what kind of fear that is. Somehow I feel that it has been a tiresome journey for me since my childhood. It looks like I always see the target but the more closer I try to get to the target, the target seems more farther apparently. I am not trying to be philosophical, everyday I struggle how to survive, by this time you must have been a sense of what I am saying.
When a person is alone and there is no support for him, you do not know how painful that is, I always live in anxiety with immense stress and always struggle for an amount as low as 1 usd. It is not like that I have not seen huge sum of money but whenever I reach to that huge some of money, before I could get hold of it, that just slips away from me and it has not happened once, rather on many occasion in my life.
I am also feeling physically weak and to what extent I could survive physically or mentally I do not know. But I wish to remain healthy at least, free from any diseases, then only I can think up or can resolve other issues of my life.
To be honest, I am a failed person on every domain of my life and the life has become miserable for me, I just want to die peacefully.
Thank you and Have a great day.
Relationships, especially love relationships, if the love relationship goes well, then your partner will always take you to sleep, hehehe. But that is not a right that makes you sleepy quickly. it can only be said to be the thing that makes your sleep sound and comfortable. because your relationship is fine.
In another perspective, love relationships can also make you unable to sleep for days. because it is caused by your love problems that often break up and then connect again.
so it all depends on what you are, what your physical and psychological conditions are in relationships and also in your career.
These two (Career or Relationship) are actually worrisome I must admit. But you know, as a guy, who finished his first degree in the university, it is very hard to get a job especially here in Nigeria. So I think a lot about the career job I can get to make life more comfortable and to make marriage easier and sooner.
The thoughts of how to get a career job or even any other job with a good salary that meets my cost of living, often brings more sleepless nights than my current love relationship. And I often ask myself these questions many times: why do I think of going into marriage now when I don't even have a stable source of income yet? And the only reply I am usually able to give is "it is suicide".
Although maybe sometimes some serious relationship situations may come up which may cause some insomnia. But usually, especially for the men, it is how to get a career job that preoccupies most of my thoughts.
My career is linked to many things. I want to be a writer... Like I want to earn a living from it. When Steem price was good, all was fairly okay. Now, I have trouble sleeping at night.
My relationship also matters. My girlfriend and I are currently going through a rough patch. (but we'll make it through. We always do) So it also occupies my mind
But my career is the most important right now. Everything seems like it could come apart any moment.
Recently, I've considered taking writing jobs but it isn't going to help. I have to think long term.
I think I'm dumping my thoughts on this thread.
TL; DR, my career gives me sleepless nights
Aha, for me it's D-E-B-T
Hmm yes, somethign that bothers me at sleep is my debts.