What can i do with parents that are over protective?
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Well take it from someone who has parents that are exactly like that, there's not much you can do. You'll always be that little 4 year old helpless and defenceless infant to them no matter how old you get and they simply can't get that thought out of their heads. It's not that they want to be over protective, it's just that they don't know how to deal with the fact that you've gotten older and can start taking care of yourself.

In my experience, the best thing to do is to listen to what they have to say, but if you're old enough, do what you feel is right. If you have to break curfew or leave the house when they say you shouldn't then do it. You need to make them understand that you aren't a child anymore and they can't keep treating you like one.

Once again, understand that your parents being overprotective is simply because they live you and not because of anything else, but it's kind of like they're in a sort of mental state which requires shock therapy to wake them up and that's why I feel you should do what you feel is right irrespective of what they say or have told you to do. Once you do it once or twice they'll loosen up.

It worked for me and my old man began to let go a bit and realise that I'm no longer a child and I can take care of myself. You just need to figure out a way to let them see that you can take care of yourself. It's not easy and for most people you have to keep showing them that you can do it, but sooner or later they'll ease up and let you be.

I hope this helps.

Firstly, it's important to note that your parents care a lot about you and that's why they overprotect you. They cherish you so much and wouldn't want to let you get hurt, make wrong decision and so on.

You have to talk about it with them. Spell out your concerns. Let them know they are impeding your privacy or even choking you. All these must be stated in polite language anyways. Else, they may frown at you and feel like you're being rude.

This leads to another point which is patience. Try as much as possible to be patient enough to see them adjust gradually. The change cannot be instataneous rather gradually. Don't feel bad when you don't get to see changes as fast as you wish. Be patient.

Also, show your parents that you can stand on your own, think on your own,do things on your own etc. Show the traits of being independent. This could be in the way you dress maturely, speak confidently, carry out chores without being told and so on.

Above all, respect your parents. They are more experienced than you and they know what's good for you.

Thank you for your time .

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It's natural for them to be protective, because they brought you into this world, it's their duty to love, care, provide and protect you.

Love and appreciate them. They are just protecting you from danger, not that they hate you.

So please appreciate them and don't give reasons to worry about you.

If your parents doesn't protect you enough, know that they don't really care about you, or maybe you are not their biological child.

Most people feel their parents are too protective, including me. If your parents constantly check your whereabouts and ask about your personal life repeatedly, you must take steps to communicate your needs productively. Try communicating your frustration, setting clear boundaries, and taking steps to reduce your parents' anxiety.

How do you communicate your frustration?

1. Choose and specify a safe time and place

The first step to dealing with overly protective parents is to have open conversations about your concerns. For the conversation to run smoothly, you must choose and determine a safe time and place to talk with your parents.

Choose a location that makes you and your parents comfortable. If you live together at home, the living room or kitchen can be used. If you don't live together, choose a neutral location like a quiet coffee shop so no one has the advantage of being a host.

Avoid all interference, turn off the TV and also get rid of your Smartphone. Don't choose a noisy location, like a bar or restaurant. For the conversation to be effective, the interference must be minimized.

Then choose a time that does not have external obstacles. For example, don't choose the time just before your parents go to work or sleep. Choose times when there is plenty of time to talk so that all parties involved can express their intentions. Afternoon or after dinner can be a good time to talk to your parents.

2. Use the statement "I"

It is so important not to blame parents when having difficult conversations. You must use the statement "I". Thus, start your sentence with the words "I feel" first. By this way, you focus on your feelings and emotions rather than giving an objective assessment of the situation.

When you communicate your feelings about the situation, do it clearly if you are talking about your views and do not emphasize objective situation assessments. For example, don't say, "It really feels like a burden if you check my whereabouts every five and 10 minutes when I'm with my friends." This will make your parents feel you are ignoring their position and making assumptions about their actions.

Instead, say something like, "I feel stressed when Mom and Dad often call and text when I'm outside. Looks like mom and dad don't trust me when I do things like that.

3. Communicate your needs and desires clearly.

Remember, you can't expect your parents to read your mind. When conversation becomes difficult, it is an important step to express your wants and needs clearly.

Ideally, what results do you want from this conversation? For example, do you want your parents not to call you too often when you are outside? Do you only want a few questions about your academic achievement or career plan? How can your parents receive it effectively? Think about what you want before starting the conversation. Have concrete goals and needs to express to your parents.

Express your goals in a firm but non-judgmental manner and respect. For example, say something like, "I'm very happy if mom and dad give space when I'm with my friends. I don't mind following curfews, but I would appreciate not having to reply to SMS and answer the phone every half hour."

Express your appreciation for your parents. The good thing about parents who are too protective is that they just want to love and protect you, and they can learn to express concern in a more productive way. Let your parents know that you appreciate that they love you and want the best for you.

4. Don't underestimate your father and mother

Even though it seems you are very annoying to face parents (father and mother) who are too protective, you should not underestimate their point of view. If you are trying to have honest and effective talks, consider their perspective.

Feelings, especially feelings triggered by anxiety, are subjective. Even though you might assume that your parents don't need to worry about mild colds that can become pneumonia, let them express their feelings without judgment.

Admit that you understand they are worried about you as their child.

The key to understanding parents is to identify why they feel that way. Try to understand the problem that triggers their overly protective nature. For example, if they are worried about your health, has one of your parents ever lost a family member or friend because of an unexpected illness?

Parents may have very good reasons for their fear based on their own experiences. While it's important not to let your parents' fears dictate your life, understanding the source of fear can help you in the future.

So therefore, you don't underestimate your parents who are too protective, and most importantly how you don't hurt them. Because they have many reasons to be protective of you. Look for ways and wise solutions so that you and your parents are always fine without hating each other.

Thanks and 

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Get them a few free sessions of therapy (disguised as parental consulting or something like that). Overprotective parents will not listen to anyone but their inner overprotective voices. They may listen to a professional, as long as they don't feel contradicted or criticized.

Overprotective parents would rather lose one arm or leg, or both than allow their children to do their will, especially if they are old enough to drive, drink, vote or go to war. That's, according to their logic, when they need more parenting.

I think we misjudged overprotective parents when we label them control freaks. They must be the most experienced people on earth when it comes to anticipating disasters (and they should get some credit for that). While other people are busy making a sack out of their lives, getting themselves into and tying it up (a Venezuelan expression), overprotective parents have been devoting every second on their times working out permutation of all the possible and impossible things that can go wrong during, say, a sleepover, and all the ways to shield their kids from such catastrophes.

For overprotective parents, “free will” is something you get after they are dead, most likely a certified copy of their will, containing all their life-long recommendations along with a power of attorney authorizing the closest old relative who would be able to carry on their overprotective job.

All stories of ghost or apparitions are most likely related to overprotective parents trying to continue their work from the afterlife. Their children have most likely moved to another state or country and that why ghost usually haunt and mess up with perfect strangers. Unable to locate their own, they have to try to protect someone else.

But again, all this can be avoided with good therapy. Let’s just hope the therapists are not themselves overprotective.  

I have had parents who were very protective but do not be disheartened because they are trying to make sure that you are protected at all times. Think about being born as a girl in India. It is not at all a cake walk. 

Far from being given complete freedom, it is like you do not even have an opinion of your own and most probably never will even if you grow up but things are changing nowadays. 

Coming back to your question, you can do many things to earn the trust of your parents and that is 

  • convince them that you can handle money responsibly. - write down your daily expenses and show it to them. Then they will be pleased to know that you are recording every single expense and that you are responsible. 
  • make sure that you bring your friends home and let your parents know the kind of friends you hang out with. Be sure however that they are good friends and not ones who try to spoil your future.
  • have straight talks with your parents - this will make them closer to you and your thoughts. no parents ever wants to feel left out and that is why they are showing their over protective nature. It is hard to let go of the child after looking after for so many years. The parents feel that the child is slipping from their grasp and that is what leads to tense situations at home.
  • show affection toward your parents, they deserve all the love for the amount of sacrifice they have made. It does not cost to hug or even smile. 
  • convince your parents that you would love to live life with a little more freedom but assure them that you will return home even if you leave. 

All the best for your future. God bless. 

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When your parents are being over protective, there are trying to make sure that you live a good life.

They want you to always be safe. You should know they want the best for you at all times.

When there are over protective there is nothing you can do about it. If you feel you have come of age and you are aware of the precautions there are trying to let know about, you can always tell them you are an adult now and that you know the difference between right and wrong.

It is a normal occurrence for a parent to be overprotective about their kids. They brought you into this world so they have the right to know about most of the activities you carry out.

Your parents want you to be successful and always want to see you at the top.

Their advises helps us most of the time so if your parents are being overprotective, there are two things I suggest you can do. If you feel you are old enough, then tell them you can take care of yourself but you must always put the advises given to you by them into consideration.

I know parents can really be over protective, even from the word, they are trying to protect you from impending problems, how ever the over protectiveness can sometimes be a disadvantage to the children, few things are needed for you to break out this cage called " over protectiveness"

Most people have low self esteem because they have not been able to stand up for themselves, their parents have always been there for them, they are in bounds of the protectiveness of their parents.

I want to you note that parent who are over protective do so because the feel their children or ward can't stand in for themselves, they feel they know what is best for them and they see themselves in positions to make decisions for them, for you to break free, you must stand in for yourself and let them realize that you are are capable of making decisions for yourself. Let them know you are ready to accept the consequences of your decisions.

When they can see that self confidence built inside of you, You see them bringing down the walls of over protectiveness.


Replied to comment 3 years ago

I agree with you bro..


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1. Figure out what their concerns are first before you make your own conclusions. Your parents have their own sets of experiences on multiple subject matters. That's their advantage. Unlike you who has the luxury of committing a mistake first before learning, your parents might have lived through the mistake and not want you repeat it. 

2. Do the things that could make them put some confidence in you. They don't allow you to do stuff because you may have shown them qualities of you being unprepared to handle it. Being the responsible child has it's merits. Sometimes, it's about banking on good reputation that you know how to take care of yourself that most requests can be granted. 

3. Rationalize that what you are about to ask from them will bring in rewards for your growth. If you want to go hiking with friends for a club activity, or school project, that would be more appealing to hear than asking for a night out in a club with friends. Frame what you are about to ask with something that would make them proud of you. 

4. It's your tone. Most requests could've been granted if only the one asking spoke the words with due courtesy. Sometimes you have to spend time practicing how to be nice when delivering the speech for it to be pleasing with the ears.

1.Make them trust you.

Try not to really lie them glaringly. Open up and separate the communication gap!

2. Influence them to trust you are truly responsible...

Never bunk to parents . On the off chance that you need to be taken as an adult then you need to act as a grown-up, act like one. Influence them to trust you that you are now responsible..

3. Travel with them

Make them see the world. Influence them to acknowledge it is sheltered and various types of individuals exists

4. Move out

Saying goes 'In the event that somebody is dealing with every one of your costs they have some privilege to settle on choices for you'. Be fiscally autonomous. You will get more control over your life

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