What is the ugliest truth about relationships?
4 Discussions

That you gon’ have to face YOUR ugly side and level up YOUR game through slaying YOUR demons... 😈😇

The ugliest truth about relationships is that they exist only to ensure the continuation of the species no less and no more. They do not exist to make us happy. That relationships are rife with difficulty, complications, pain and anguish is the direct result of the fact that they are good enough to get the job done as they are. Our happiness is not even an afterthought. 

Some people or families are fortunate enough to have stable, good and reasonably happy relationships. But a very large percentage of people do not have what is called a secure attachment style. According to Psychology Today, 40% of U.S. kids have an insecure attachment style.  What that means is that a little shy of a half of all Americans - and I'm willing to bet that the percentage is similarly high in other cultures, too. An insecure attachment style is a predictor of divorce, worse health outcomes and a lower level of cognitive and social skills in adulthood.

We can work on improving our relationships but that requires good introspection, humility, good cognitive skills and hard work. It's one thing to know that something's wrong and a whole another to improve it.  

Source: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/brain-trust/201404/study-shows-40-us-kids-are-insecurely-attached

I think the ugliest truth about relationships is that it requires hard work. It is not easy. Relationships are never easy. 

First, you need to sacrifice. By sacrifice I mean, sacrifice some of your "me time" for "us time". You need to be able to sacrifice the time that you spend alone with someone else. When your partner needs you, you need to be present. You also need to sacrifice what you own. For example, money. Being in a relationship may not be expensive if you want to but it really requires money. There are plenty of things to sacrifice, those mentioned earlier are just some.

Second, you need patience. Lots of patience. A person has her good sides and bad sides and there are moments that you can see her bad sides, wherein she pushes you away and hates you for a reason you do not know, that is the time you need to have lots of patience and instead of hating her back, you should shower her with love instead.

Third, compromise. You need to compromise. The relationship won't work if you do not compromise. For example, when you are far with your partner, the both of you should adjust. By adjusting, I mean you can take turns in who will go to the other person. Relationship requires a huge amount of compromises.

So for me, the ugliest truth about relationships is that it will never be a walk in the part. It is difficult. The bright side is no matter how difficult it is, if she is worth it, you will hold her hand no matter how hard it gets. 

We live in a "self improvement" culture that demands that any issues we may have finding a relationship, keeping up a relationship, or being upbeat in a relationship can be fathomed or settled on the off chance that we simply make the "right" choices, include ourselves with the "right" individuals, and carry on in the "right" ways. What's more, this view and rationale is connected to pretty much all connections. The "fact of the matter" is there is no assurance that since we pursue different tenets, abstain from or participate in specific sorts of practices, or even meet individuals who need associations with us that we will be effective, upbeat, and satisfied with the general population with whom we shape connections. The "ugliest" truth about connections—however there are numerous competing for this shame—is that a few of us will never have significant, adoring, common, commonly fulfilling connections in our lifetimes regardless of the amount we look, attempt, change, ponder, think emphatically, take a shot at ourselves, go to treatment, counsel mystics, join dating destinations, read books on connections, join meet-ups, or potentially supplicate. 

There are various individuals who have hitched individuals they don't love. There are various individuals who are enamored with individuals who don't love them. There are numerous kin who can't get along and who will never get along regardless of the amount one may need to. There are a large number of kinships that disintegrate each day or that end up being false as well as that are loaded up with pressure, incongruence, jealousy and disdain, unevenness, and additionally triviality. There are many dating connections that never transform into submitted relational unions, in spite of the desires and wants of the general population in those connections who need marriage and duty from their dating accomplices. There are many hitched couples who are hopeless and who just remain together in light of accounts as well as youngsters, or essentially without much forethought and dread. There are endless people who undermine their dependable and submitted accomplices, who relinquish them, as well as who just abuse them. There are numerous youngsters who don't coexist with their folks and guardians who don't coexist with their kids. What's more, there are innumerable individuals who have no companions, no family or close family, and nobody regardless of how decent, apparently appealing, fiscally steady, instructed, as well as liberal they might be. There are individuals who are essentially misconstrued, saw in manners that are off base and harming, or who are just disregarded by those with whom they might want to interface and set up connections. Most importantly connections that make life worth living are not ensured and not every person will have them. For those whose lives are loaded up with cherishing, fulfilling connections, this answer will appear to be negative. However, for the individuals who have battled and neglected to discover, sustain, and keep up enduring, common sentimental love, profound companionships, close family ties, and strong work contacts this answer will reverberate.