You can comfort such people with words. Words with healing balm, not those that inflict wounds. Such people need encouragements. Their heads may be swimming in thoughts that pull them down. You can help lift their heads by replacing those thoughts with better and productive ones. This is the time to fill up their head with positivity. It's time to let those worse feelings drain without letting the person drain along with it. It's the set time to be that person's strength in times of weaknesses. Become the shoulder they cry on. Let them know that it is not the end of the world.
Let the Person know that you still believe in him or her and in his or her abilities. Remind the Person of feats they accomplished in the past and help them see why quiting will not make the task less difficult. Remind the person all they can learn now while trying again. Remind them of people who tried and failed but kept trying until they succeeded. I like to use Thomas Edison's story as a case study. He tried one thousand times to make a light bulb come on but failed the same number of times he did try until the one thousandth and one time. Imagine he gave up, there would have been no electricity or maybe better still, it would have taken longer for another person to do it.
We've all been there. We must have failed at something. Tried without success. Maybe it was failing an exam for you. This promotional exam is everything for you. You have conquered previous ones. As a student, this promotional exams would have qualified you for graduation. Few days before the exams, you study so hard and may hardly sleep maybe for days at a stretch. You enter the exam hall and all of a sudden don't seem to remember what you read. The questions are just so confusing. You still managed to write down something but you failed.
Maybe for you, it's failing in business after investing all your savings. Your friends introduced you to this business they claim is working and they are making huge profits. So you borrow some money and invest and suddenly this business crashes overnight. Now your head rings a bell; failure. So, there is this charming girl in the neighborhood. She is every one's dream girl. She fits into your fantasy. You've tried so hard to get the thoughts of her off your mind all to no avail. Finally you decided to take a risk and approach her and eventually failed at winning her heart and getting her to love you. She isn't in love with you but is in love with someone else who is half as cute as yourself. You don't smoke, you are a body builder with great looks. You've weighed it all round and you see the odds in your favor but you couldn't get her to love you. Maybe this is your failure.
Everyone has a story of something that didn't work for them. But that is not the end of the road. Failing doesn't make you a failure no matter how bad it may seem. It only shows that you didn't know what you thought you did or as much as you thought. I know how depressing this could be especially when you have put so much into it. A whole lot of times, your confidence is affected. You did your best yes! But you get this feeling that your best is not good enough. It makes you feel that you are not smart especially when the least expected people succeed at same thing with little or no effort at all.
Now that it has happened this way, you have to decide whether it was a stepping stone or a stumbling block. Failing is like tripping over a stone. You are to decide two things. The first is whether you will get up, dust off yourself and get going or whether you will remain on the ground. Successful people are not people who never failed at some attempts. They are those who made up their minds to keep trying until they succeeded. if you failed at something, it means that you are working because nobody fails at nothing. There are thousand more opportunities to succeed.
Maybe you need to clear your confusion if you are a student. Drop your ego and learn from those who are doing better in that field. Get informed. Its possible that there are things you didn't know that gave the other person an edge. If you failed in a business, maybe you need to learn from your mistakes. Every business has risks. You have to determine which is worth taking. Ask questions from people who known the nitty-gritty of the business and learn from them. Every business have Its own unique challenges. Get all the information you can about such business or any other you may wish to switch to. If you failed as a spouse, you should make up your mind to reassess the situation, ask your spouse's forgiveness. Make promises and work towards fulfilling them. Get a third party to advocate on your behalf if the need arises and live up to your expectations.
The truth is nobody wants that kind of story but failure is as important as success. Failure helps us to appreciate success. No successful person has a complete story without a drawback of failure here and there. If you failed at anything, it's not too late to start all over. Just pick up courage and the right attitude. Let this become your motivation to put all necessary efforts toward achieving success. Don't hang your boots yet. Don't cower, don't give up. Don't faint because you are some steps closer to succeeding and your best days are just here.
I normally lick their salty tears . Only joking. I think first of all I would give them time to somewhat grieve their failure and then put on an assertive approach , dust him down and pick him or her back up. Explain that we are human and that we are still breathing and have our bellies full of food so and lets try again. What can you lose? Then if it was a business failure I will show him or her this photo of Jeff Bezos when he was struggling at the start with his business Amazon
This is truly not a simple inquiry.
Disappointment is such an individual thing. It is on the whole an internal fight, and there's typically little you can do to turn somebody around - the change needs to originate from inside them.
So as a companion looking on all things considered, the best thing you can do is be there for them. Demonstrate to them that you've not lost any regard for them, and that despite everything you have confidence in them as a man.
One of my darkest occasions was in the wake of bombing very nearly two semester of courses, and having to resit the entire year as a result of it. I was totally overloaded by it - my self-assurance was completely devastated; abandoning me floundering in self-loathing.
Numerous individuals attempted to give me guidance and an offer a 'convenient solution' to the issue - however just a single succeeded. It was at Christmas, and subsequent to botching another arrangement of exams I was humiliated to give the more distant family reports on how I was doing at college - in spite of everybody needing to know.
My close relative approached address me, and my stomach transformed into bunches. She is an inconceivable lady - she runs her own nursery, is hitched to a specialist, and has brought up three extremely effective youngsters who all have degrees and expert occupations in their fields. She was presumably the individual I was most threatened by, in light of the fact that I thought I had lost her regard because of my disappointments.
Be that as it may, in one sentence - she changed everything.
"In this way, I hear you're making life very hard for yourself!" - She stated, meeting my eyes and grinning at me with not a trace of anything other than rather regard.
Presently this may sound senseless to you, however that one affirmation extremely changed my reality.
With it - she inferred that she not the slightest bit thought I was unequipped for passing my college courses, yet essentially that she knew I was not allowing myself to pass. That she hadn't lost any regard for me, and still trusted that I was proficient - however I simply wasn't arranging my needs accurately.
As a youthful and miserably coming up short understudy, realizing that somebody I regarded still trusted in me meant the world. That minute was one of the changing purposes of my life, regardless I recall that point of view today. It influenced me to understand that I had the ability to change everything - and I'm glad to state that I did.
Lets reformulate the inquiry to: Is there anything I can state to somebody who continues coming up short?
Obviously there is-it might conceivably not be extremely viable. (Can't get our wings constantly).
Another civility must be to state something to the effect:"You know, man, I truly wish I recognized what to state to you to encourage you. I have a feeling that I ought to have the capacity to state or accomplish something. I simply don't recognize what. Your one of the most astute individuals I know. You appear to have a propensity for shooting yourself in the foot however. (Much appreciated Craig.)
I has a comparative circumstance and, strangely, with my most loved Aunt over the Christmas season. I was going down an awful street lousy levels, police inclusion, social withdrawal, and so forth.
My dear Aunt and I went for a stroll, down to the plants our town was popular for. Following a couple of minutes of awkward quietness, she swung to me and stated, "dear". You can improve the situation than how you are getting along," She quit strolling and gave me a nonjudgmental and caring look. "I expect better out of you."
Her words resembled an adoring reminder. They worked.
Maybe in these circumstances there is an opening where we can see there is a probability for change and that there is somebody who might be listening who really has faith in us… unequivocally however not without certain expectation
Is it obvious to you why this person keeps failing? Are you talking about subjects in high school or real life ventures?
Perhaps this person doesn’t need comfort, but some serious motivation to get their act together. Have you ever thought of the possibility that the failure could be a way to manipulate you into feeling compassionate and pay more attention to this person?
Failure is good. It is how we learn. Why not let this person figure out whatever he or she is lacking so the next step will be a learning process. Comfort may feel good in the short term, but not only is it unnecessary, it can even get in the way.
Perhaps in these situations- there is an opening where we can see there is a possibility for change and that there is someone out there who truly believes in us… unconditionally but not without certain expectations.
There is no universal “win one for the Gipper” phrase or Hollywood moment but there are those times when someone we love’s words mean so much that we know we must change what we do and, in part, who we are.
Talk through it with them. What went wrong, with hindsight how would you do it differently or what did you learn? Failures are learning experiences. Make sure you learn something and make sure you don’t do the same mistakes ever again.