HomeAnswerNotificationsCategoriesIntroductionAboutFAQ
HOMEQUESTION
How can a man say he truly loves me but doesn't want to vacation with me, introduce me to family and friends, ignores my messages and pretends to not understand? I love him and this is why I stay. What should I do?
$0.43
7 ANSWERS

When a man loves a woman, she takes priority in his life especially when you just starting out. He is always ready to show you off to his friends and family. He will want to call or message you frequently because you are always in his thought.

The bitter truth is there is a big chance that man does not love you or has fallen out of love with you. As a man, I can tell you the signs are more likely to mean you don't mean much to him. That man doesn't feel connected to you. A man in love is easily predictable. He will happily do those things you listed.

I would have loved to find an excuse for him but the signs are somehow obvious. He may not want to introduce you yet to his family and friends because he is having doubts about going all the way with you. But frequently ignoring your messages (or calls) is a bad sign.

How long have you been dating? How long has he been this way? If he changed suddenly, then it's either you offended him, he is hurt and punishing you or he fell in love with someone else. If he is been that since the beginning stage of your relationship, then his mind has never been in it. He is likely still in it for something (you know).

You have to very blunt and be ready to cut your losses. Sit him down and pour out mind to him while keeping your calm. Give him an ultimatum - it is either he shows you some loving and proudly make your relationship 'official' by introducing you as his lady to his people or you are out.

There is a chance he is been taking you for granted because he thought he got you hooked. The truth is some guys don't know or forget the values of their ladies until there is a risk of losing them or they eventually lost them.

Let him know in plain terms you are ready to walk away. If he is in love with you, the chance of losing you will wake him the hell up. If he doesn't love you, then he will let you go readily or reluctantly.

Whatever the case, you have to be sure where you stand with him. Walking away might hurt but it far better. It will save you time, a lot of headaches and more severe heartache.

I wish you all the best.

$4.51
Reply

Sounds to me like you deserve better than him, I would never do anything like that to my wife even when she was my girlfriend.

When we first started dating we decided to be casual and take things slow, this was a conversation after about a month of seeing each other, and we didn't know where the relationship was going.

After 3 months of been together I think we both felt the same way and decided to meet each others parents, well she didn't get a choice really with mine as we had been out and went back to my mums that night, My mum just walked in my bedroom and ask who she was, but we were going to tell her that same day so it wasn't as bad as it could have been.

My advice to you if you really do love him is to talk to him, ask him these questions you ask musing as we are not the guy who you need to address this too. If he is playing you then at least you will know there and then.

There is a few things to think about, one is, why he won't let you meet his friends, this to me is bigger than meeting the parents, if you fit in with his friends then that is all that matters because there the ones you will see more of.

The parents are always the last to find out about relationships, my friends have known every girlfriend I have ever had from day one, this isn't because i go and start bragging about seeing a new girl this is because I spend a lot of time with them.

This to do with vacationing with him, it is hard to say with out knowing the ins and outs of your relationship, is he a married man? as this would tell me why he won't go away as he wouldn't know what to tell his wife.

I really hope that things work out the way you want them too, I have a bad feeling about this one, but like I said i don't know you or him so I can't really give you the answers that you are really looking for. 

$4.45
Reply

This isn't going to be good news I'm afraid, so read it slowly and let it sink in before deciding how to move forward.

Firstly, actions speak louder than words. His words are 'he truly loves you' but his actions say he doesn't. If I were to be brutally honest, his actions say he is married and the reason he will not introduce you to friends  and family, will not take you on holiday is because he wishes you to remain a secret. He is obviously more important to you than you are to him and my advice is to give him an ultimatum that things have to change or its over. And you must be strong and mean it, and do it if necessary.

If you stay with him, you will slowly get angrier and more hurt, your self esteem will drop and he will treat you worse and worse.

Life is too short to be treated this way and you are worth so much more and deserve respect. You are not getting respect from this guy, he doesn't care about your feelings because if he did, he would address your worries and wishes.

You need to walk away I'm afraid, tough as that is. If he comes running after you, then great. Don't go back until your criteria are met. If he doesn't, pull your friends and family tightly around you and get over this relationship in your own time and way.

I hate to point these things out to you and give you such stark options, but as an outsider looking in, and as an old guy who has been through such things myself, this is what I genuinely and sincerely believe.

I wish you every future happiness and always know that things do get better in time, even if it doesn't feel that way now.

$2.09
Reply

If a man is not ready to do all the above things then definitely he is passing time with you and doesn't loves you. There is nothing to think what to do the girl can just ignore the guy and move on.

Love is the basic thing which you expect from your loved ones when he is not ready to spend time with you it clearly shows that he has some other things more important than you may be carrier or some other girl.

If he is not ready to introduce you to his friends and relatives which means he is not sure of marrying you and will leave you at any time.

Next is the most important point ignoring your messages a man who loves you cannot ignore your messages or call. If he is busy he will definitely come back once he is free.

So, according to me these are the basic things a man should definitely do for a girl he loves if he fails to do girls should leave him and find the one who deserves her.

$1.35
Reply

You have every right to question his love! There's something wrong and you know it. This is only my opinion, it's not an advice.

It looks to me like he can't fully accept you for some reasons only known by him. Or there's a second possibility, you're not the only woman in his life.

Loving someone means you want to spend every single minute with the person. This must come from inside, you must feel that you are just half without the other, you have no balance, you need the other half.

Taking a vacation with someone you love is the most beautiful thing. Sharing good times, gathering memories, spending time together outside your daily life is something that can't be refused.

Ignoring messages is not only disrespectful but also a warning sign that must be taken seriously.

Keeping you away from family and friends is also a warning sign not to be ignored. He should be proud of you if he really loves you and eager to introduce you to his friends and family.

You said you love him. What do you love about him? An unrealistic image, something you wish him to be? Or the real him, who ignores your, messages and hides you from your friends and family. Because that's the real him, according to you. This should answer your question.

I'd suggest you make a list about what you love about him and what you don't. Let's see which column is longer.

$1.33
Reply

OK, putting on my "dad" hat here.

As the father of three grown daughters, I'll offer you the same advice that I would to them: walk away.  From what you describe, there is something seriously wrong with your relationship.  It is all one-sided.  In other words, you have a relationship with him; he does not have (or apparently want) a relationship with you.

To vacation with you (and be seen in public), introduce you to his family, etc. would be a way of showing you that he sees your association as long-term.  That he is either unable or unwilling to take even this very small step is for me an indication that he does not see this relationship going anywhere.  "Love" is putting another before self, and there is none of that going on here on his part.  I sense that you are committed, and willing to sacrifice for him, but the gesture is not reciprocated.  

Please do not think that you can "change" him.  You can't.  People are who they are, and as adults are for the most part set in their ways.  On more than one occasion a daughter throught that with just enough coaxing, just enough kind gestures, just enough ultimatums, and just enough threats a boyfriend would change.  Never happens.

You deserve better.  

$0.99
Reply

This is a massive alert signal that there is another woman  in his life.  Do some digging. 

$0.00
Reply