A broken relationship is like a crack on the wall. If we don't address the crack, in no time the entire building will collapse. Sometimes it is beyond us. Beyond our control. We watch these relationships wear out like an old tyre and fade like some clothing material. It hurts sometimes. We very much want these people in our lives but they have committed some atrocities, maybe breached our trusts, maybe cheated on us with our best friends. It's possible that you are the offender. You said the things you were not supposed to say or did things you shouldn't have and the relationship is suddenly redirected on a journey we never want. People who were at some point a Part of our lives suddenly become enemies or better still, strangers we never want to see again. Some broken relationships break us such that we are either not ready to try again or trust again.
A lot of people wait too long before taking action towards mending a broken friendship or relationship. It's often said that a stitch in time saves nine. Some crack in our relationship linger too long before we begin the work of repair and building. Broken relationships can be restored but first we must agree that it isn't over for us. We must be willing to take the necessary steps. Get the cement and the sand together like a builder. Don't just wish that something happens and those we've offended will play along. No, you have to take the effort towards reaching out and making things work. Here are some points you should consider.
1. Have an understanding heart. You have to understand that humans are not perfect but imperfect. They have weaknesses, flaws and shortcomings in different aspects and to different degrees. If you cannot forgive the shortcomings of others, how do we expect them to forgive us? Jesus in his teachings about prayers said forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors. We are indebted to a whole lot of people more than we know or are willing to admit. Some people because of the way they are wired take offenses about issues that are rarely a bone of contention for others. We have to understand this about their personalities and be willing to excuse their behaviors.
2. Talk to the offenders. You have to learn the place of dialogue in relationships. Things left to themselves don't usually become better by themselves. Talk to the offender about how you feel about the offense. Don't assume that people know what the gravity of their offenses to you are. The things people consider as offense to one may not be to another so you have to know how their minds work by talking to them..You'll be surprised to learn that they didn't even know that they committed such offenses. I've been in that situation before.
I am a leader of a cell and i have members that I am supposed to be leading. They are to take instructions from me and I expect their cooperation. Very recently, one of them told me that he was angry with me. What for I asked? I walk around smiling at everyone not knowing that I had offended some by my words and action. I had to beg, coarse and do everything I could to get him to open up. He eventually did and I was shocked to learn what the problem was. It was just a generic statement I made not go him in particular and yet, he was offended. I had to apologize and resolve the issue because my relationship with him was important.
3. Apologize. If the relationship is important to you, you must set aside your ego and apologize if you are the guilty one. Most relationships end because the parties involved prefer their ego to saving the relationship. Remember that saying sorry doesn't mean that you are weak or guilty of the offense. Sorry as simple as it sounds can save a dying relationship. When you offend people, you should be willing to ask their forgiveness. Forgiveness heals. Forgiveness cures. It repairs. It changes things. We must look past anything in us, in our personality and be willing to hold out the olive branch when necessary. There will be less wars if we own up to our faults and mistakes and ask forgiveness for them.
4. Let go. You have to know when to hold on and when to let go. Let go of hurts. Release them and set yourself. You should know when a relationship is worth holding and worth letting go. Not everyone is meant to be in your life. Not every relationship is worth saving. When people keep apologizing and hurting you, then apology has been abused. Then apology has become a cheap term. Let such people out of your life and the people who values your company and your relationship will come to you. If the relationship is worth saving, then go for it.
5. Win. Yes you've got to win back their trust. Trust they say is like an eraser. When broken, It gets smaller and smaller. Start by winning back their trust haven asked their forgiveness. They may not listen but don't relent. Don't give up or give in. If you need the help or support of another, then get it. Get someone who they will be willing to listen to as a middle man. A broken relationship is like a wound. When we sustain injuries, we don't leave the affected path to rot. We clean up the wound, use the right medication and let it heal.
In relationships, offenses are bound to come but they can be resolved. My mother used to say that even the teeth and tongue usually have disagreements that's why the teeth sometimes bite the tongue when we chew but that doesn't stop the tongue from rolling the food when the tongue chews. It heals and continue the good relationship that has existed between them over time. In same way, when we have issues with people as much as possible, resolve the conflict and have your life back.
I think it's pretty tough to repair broken relationships with someone no matter if it is with someone close or someone u love. Well, imagine a bridge that has broke into two. It won't be easy to mend the bridge. Even if you can built it back, it would not be the same as how it would use to look like.
If it's a friend, you can try to mend it back. Try apologizing or at some point talk to that person. Once that doesn't work, just go get a new friend. Ita definitely not worth.however learn from this mistake and try not to make it again in the future.
If it's family, we'll, this is tough. No matter what your still in the same family. It is not easy to deal with at some point of time. Well, try your best to talk to the family member and apologize and reduce any conflict involved at least just to make sure that your still in the same family. If the fight escalates and even the land besides that bridge crumbles, that would be really impossible to save. It is always wise not to be in a conflict with our own family members. We can't just ignore them like our friends.
If is our loved one, we have to try our best to see if that there is any fault that we have done. If there is, I guess the best way is to make sure not to repeat that mistake again. Always initiate a talk and remember all those good memories that were there that made those moments great. Life is great when we love and especially with that person you love. Sometimes, there may be bridges that have broken but usually there are more good sides which can definitely be able to go beyond that broken bridge or that broken relationship.
In conclusion, humans have feelings and this is what makes it difficult to maintain a healthy relationship. Everyone is different and there is always a different need for every single obstacle that we may face. Having a broken relationship definitely is one of the hardest thing to mend. Not easy at all. Lots of ego and pride are usually at stake for those who try to forgive and forget.
To repair a broken relationship requires some steps for you to take and the first thing to do is to work on what broke the relationship in the first place. In any relationship trust matters alot and to get trust at the first time of the relationship is easier than to trust to build a broken trust. Try to check what is the problem in the first place and try to mend that because if you don't work on that then that will be the same reason the relationship will break again.
After know what is wrong and you have worked on it then you should try to avoid the blame game because trying to blame one another for the reason of the broken relationship then you might not be able to rebuild the broken relationship. That why it is better to find the reason of the initial break-up than finding the person who caused the break-up. Then try to accept the outcome of whatever you find is the reason for the break-up in the first place and learn to take responsibility.
If you truly want to repair the broken relationship then you should go and meet the other person and try to start up the relationship in an apologetic manner. Don't wait for the other person to come to you first or try to feel too big to apologise, you have to make the first move and bring down whatever ego you have.
Both of you should try to talk about what happened previously without blaming one another and both of you should be ready to avoid such mistake from happening again. Bring up happy memories you shared with each other and with time the relationship will be back to what it was and might even to better than what it was.
I think if you're the one at fault you need to apologize first of all. Now, there is little you can do if the said person doesn't want to accept your apology or be friends with you. Yours is to apologize and mean it. Don't insist on anything. If they accept fine. if they don't then you just have to move on with your life.
So now, if the said person accepts your apology and wants to still be friends with you then you need to work towards repairing the broken relationship. You don't need to do much. The basic things like calling or texting--checking on them. Normal things that friends do. It might take a while depending on how to hurt the person is to be able to hang out or be totally free with you, so you need to give them time. Don't rush things. Win them over gradually. I believe with these few steps you guys can get back on track.
If there are some underlining issues you guys need to address then do that first. So it doesn't become a problem later. Most people tend to forgive but don't forget the pain and hurt. So you need to address these issues if need be so there is no relapse sometime in the future.
First things first, you have to work on yourself
No one likes to think that there is anything wrong with them. We all believe that we are the good guy, especially in our own story. So what happens when you sit down to talk with your mate and find that part of the problem is you? Some serious soul searching may be in order. No intimate relationship exists in a vacuum, but if you aren’t working on yourself, how can you think that changing your mate will make things better?
Before you try to ‘fix’ someone, ask some realistic questions.
You have to be honest with yourself about your answers. Is it fair to want to fix someone else when you don't won't deal with your own nonsense?
So what’s the key to building a healthy relationship?
How about communication? Learn to listen, not just hear, but truly listen to what your significant other has to say. Don’t judge. Don’t assume. Listen and respond from your heart. Even if the words that come out aren’t what you want to hear. If the other person is sincere the words and feelings will be honest. Honesty is necessary, heartfelt and appreciated, even if it’s sometimes misunderstood. You can’t build trust without honesty and empathy.
Look at it this way. You chose this person for a reason. Something about them sparked the animal part of your brain and before you knew it, you were having dinner at that special place. Laughing at inane jokes and feeling the butterflies run amok in your stomach. There was a fire in those eyes that you couldn’t deny. You got them - and Lord Be Praised, they got you!
In a real relationship it doesn’t matter if 20 days or 20 years have gone by, those initial feelings are still floating around. Look closely, see them there? Right there - buried under layers of bills and dirty diapers and the mother-in-law from Hell. Don’t despair. If you are careful, during that one quiet instant, the moment when you catch each other’s eyes after a full day of fighting, see - there it is. The Spark. The true junction of your relationship that defies description, explanation or attempts to destroy it. The ‘it’ in your ‘us’ soup. Bruised, battered and dingy, but still there. Pulsing with the slow knock of your heart.
Now, would you really want to change that?
I think anything that breaks, even if you try to repair it, will never be the same again. Take the case of any object that has broken, inevitably, even if you want to glue it, the object will be seen for cracks and crevices. What will happen when you want to use that object that was broken and that you have repaired? then you will try to use it with care or not to use it because you will be afraid to break it again. The same goes for relationships! When a relationship is broken, it is no longer the same, a piece was lost, you see the cracks and we are divided into parts not being one. When a relationship is broken is because we have done something too strong to break it and if it was something minimal that broke it, then the relationship was not strong, it was not made of those durable materials with which relationships are made for a lifetime. So I don't advise fixing relationships that are broken, because then we are the broken ones.
First thinking comes to my mind is that how important is person to you.then you will have to recall the reason of broken relation.simply you will realize your mistake if you are at wrong side then go to that person and admit before him.so,everything will be fine.
This looks such a nice situation if it occurs in real condition.but some times we know we are not at mistake.I think there should not be ego in between such good relations.try to ignore the mistakes in relation.because the person who is first to finish disputes shouldn't think his value goes down.infact he tried to built relation.to keep relation which is the exact need of time.
Relations are made to bind not to break.