Its really all a matter of instinct. Honestly I feel anybody who’s being used in a relationship knows it unequivocally. It’s one of those things you feel deep down in your soul and you’re sure of with a conviction that transcends all doubt.
But the promise WE choose to doubt it most of the time out of OUR OWN WILL. Perhaps as a product of extreme denial, which itself might stem out of our huge affection for that other person we are in the relationship with.
We love that person and it’s difficult to believe they are using us. So we choose not to accept it even though we know it deep down in the soul. We banish the thought. We tell ourself no, it can’t be. He or she loves me too much. But the truth is it is only us who loves too much. Too much to admit whats really going on.
One of the signs is always when the contribution becomes one sided. Every relationship of course requires a commitment from either party in the relationship. We all have our parts to play. Either in terms of time sacrificed or monetary contribution or emotional investments, but when the contribution gets lopsided you know the other person is taking advantage of you in a way.
For instance when you’re the one who keeps footing all the bills that come up with the other person unwilling to contribute even the slightest quota; or when you keep sacrificing your time to be available and the other person just doesn’t seem to care.
This is when you start to know you’re being used and taken advantage of.
But the most important part of it is knowing when to take action, and not being afraid to do so when you’ve confirmed that the time has come.
Of course we all deserve a second chance. So I’ll always advice communication first before any action is taken. Talk things out to see if you can work things out. Explain how you’re feeling to the other person. See if that person is willing to make amends. Who knows, you might even be wrong in the assumption. But in the end if it turns out you’re right and the other person isn’t willing to make amends you have to take the right step and move on.
There’s nothing as worse as being in a relationship where you’re being exploited. You must leave the relationship before it becomes too toxic and haunts you for life.
Also talk to your loved ones for support; they can turn out to be the anchor you need to root yourself to a firm ground so as to set yourself free. I really hope this helps.
Cheers and have a good day.
There are lots of signs that a person is using you in a relationship, it usually starts with alot of unreasonable and insensitive requests and is followed up by a general deficit in the amount of love that you're shown by them. I think the best way to explain this would be to list out a couple of signs, and if your partner exhibits any of them then most likely, you're being used;
1. They only call when they need you: Ah well I believe that if you're in a relationship with a person who's only ever interested in talking to you when they need something then you're definitely being used by the person, there's no two ways about it. Relationships are a 2 person affair and each person is responsible for the other, at least relationship-wise so if they only seem to car when they need something please pack your things and leave that relationship because you're being used.
2. They never want to talk during the day: Well if they only ever want to talk to you when the sun is down then chances are you're only useful to them when they need someone to go out with at night. Chances are you're just a trophy girl or a personal money dispenser.
3. They make saying no difficult: Anytime they ask for something, they out it in such a way that you can't say no, either by holding your relationship for ransom or by threatening to withhold something like sex. This is a sure sign that the person doesn't particularly care about you.
4. They're never willing to spend money on you: It's always a case of I didn't come out with money or I dont have enough on me or the classic; I forgot my wallet at home. People who always say and do things like this are 100% using you for your money and the second you stop spending the money on them, you'll see their true colours.
5. Selfishness: It's never about you but it's always about them, your needs never matter and theirs are always at the top of the list. These kind of people start the conversation with "How are you" but continue and end it with "me me me me me" it's just sad. Your needs and wellbeing is never their concern but they'll always expect you to be there for them.
6. They take but never give: Well seeing as they're users, you can't expect them to give anything back in return. They will milk you dry and always have a reason for taking things for you but never seem to have a reason to give anything to you. I strongly advice that anyone reading this should re-evaluate their relationship and ask themselves if it's love or if you're being used.
I hope this helps.
We live in an era where we get used be it in our office, school or relationship. There are certain traits that accompany people who use others let's take a look at some of them.
If you're being used by someone you'll notice that the person using you convinces you to make decisions that will benefit himself/herself while making you think that you took the decision on your own. This is one of the manipulative methods people use wile taking advantage of others.
You also tend to notice that if you're being used, whoever is using you always hangs around you for a short period of time. As long as he/she is getting positive results from you they'll stick around. Once you stop giving them what they want they go off-grid on you making up excuses why they aren't available only to return when your productive to them again.
People who tend to use others are excessively nice around those bieng used. They tend to smile slot, compliment almost everything you do making you feel that they actually care but they don't.
If there's any other method I didn't mention please pardon because people devise new methods to take advantage of other people so please be on the lookout for people like that.
They Make You Feel Uncomfortable
Connections ought to be comfortable and simple, but then they frequently so aren't. Obviously this can occur for any number of reasons, yet here and there inconvenience originates from the absence of parity in a relationship. That is the reason, in the event that somebody is utilizing you, you may begin to feel progressively uneasy around them,
They're Only Nice When It's Convenient
Be careful with individuals who are just super sweet and insightful when they need to get something, or ask some help. These are similar individuals who will brush off you once they get what they need. As Jessica Padykula noted in Canadian Living, "One of the greatest warnings demonstrating that you're being utilized is having a companion abruptly profess to be pleasant in the wake of getting what she needs." It might be extreme, however do whatever it takes not to enveloped with such fakery.
A client will regularly paint themselves as the most supportive individual on earth. Yet, to some degree creepily, they are regularly just doing as such to profit themselves. As indicated by Melillo, "They'll complete a (little) support for you and after that utilization that to make a feeling of blame and commitment in you." When it comes time to for them to ask some help, they'll raise "everything they improved the situation you." It just shouts of blame stumbling.
Consider the conceivable client in your life. Does he or she ever center around your requirements? Likely not. As Melillo stated, "This is the reason they are a client ... on the off chance that you notice your necessities, they will disregard them, or even contend with you." Once you understand what they're dependent upon, it would all be able to appear to be quite self-evident.
Numerous individuals have encountered connections that appear to be altogether uneven. At the point when that is the situation, you may feel like you're the just a single investing any exertion, the just a single making arrangements, the just a single purchasing endowments, and so forth and so on. Once more, connections are about equalization. In the event that your accomplice appears to be reluctant to once in a while give back where its due, don't be amazed when you begin to feel objectified.
Presently I'm not saying you ought to detest doing favors, or working late, or at times getting the tab. Be that as it may, do focus on these little warnings, and in addition why you've transformed yourself into the notorious doormat. With a little self consideration, as Chronister says, you can begin to try and out these uneven connections.
It's actually difficult especially if you really fell in love with that person. You might even ignore the signs because of it. It's also subjective and so I will focus on my objective point of view.
Let's just look at the numbers, if your bank account is depleting so much and so fast😁
You can tell if he/she loves you or your money if the focus of the relationship is about money and the things your are giving or forcefully asking from you.
When I asked my mother a touch too loudly why the cashier had a moustache...the female cashier.
I was in all probability five or six and that i guess I didn’t perceive that some queries were higher left unasked, or a minimum of in an exceedingly quiet tone or privately. we tend to were unloading our groceries onto the belt and explored and noticed the cashier had an understandable line of hair on top of her higher lip. Tugging on my mom’s sleeve, I asked “Mom, why will she have a mustache?”
I was genuinely curious as a result of I had ne'er seen one on a girl before. Of course, my mother told ME to relax and that i accomplished perhaps I shouldn’t have asked that therefore loudly.
Having this curiosity timely saved ME as a result of it created ME notice not all queries ought to be asked aloud.