This is a really nice question, one which I personally take to heart because I had a friend who committed suicide a couple of years ago.
I've had arguments with alot of my closest friends on this matter and I honestly believe that there's nothing brave about suicide, it's just plain old cowardice. You see the thing about death is that you don't feel it yourself, it's the people who are left back to mourn you that feel it.
I personally don't believe that there's any problem that anyone is facing that should warrant taking your life, there are people who are fighting for every breath in hospitals everyday and then we have people who feel life is too hard or maybe nobody loves them so they decide to off themselves. Honestly the thought gets me so mad sometimes.
When you kill yourself you leave people behind who love you with questions about where they went wrong and what they could have done to help you, and more importantly, why you didn't just talk to them in the first place. Suicide is cowardly and inexcusable, it's your life so you can live it anyway you see fit but no one has the right to end a human life and that includes yours as well.
The thing that hurts me the most about a lot of suicides I hear about these days is that the reasons for why these people kill themselves is so flimsy and foolish. Now I'm not one to undermine a person's suffering, but to me, alot of them don't warrant ending your life.
Let me tell you about a friend of mine who killed himself. So he'd been feeling sick for a couple of days and he went to the hospital to get tested for some normal illnesses like Malaria or Typhoid. Everything came back negative but he wasn't getting any better, in fact he was getting worse. Eventually he did some other tests and found out that his kidneys were failing.
Now all the while he kept it to himself, we knew he was sick but nobody knew what was the problem. Now instead of telling his parents or telling his friends what had happened, he decided to go online and check out the survival rate of people with failing kidneys and I guess it wasn't pretty so that was when he decided to kill himself.
He went ahead to purchase a gun from God knows where and then laid a mat on the floor of his room. He then brought out, ironed and wore his best suit, wrote a suicide note then sat down on the bed. He then placed the gun in his mouth and blew his brains out.
Apparently he felt that ending it this way would be better than having to stress everyone with getting the money for his treatment. I was gobsmacked when I heard the news, weirdly enough, 4 other people I knew died that week, 3 died that same day but that's a story for another day.
What hurt me so bad was that his reason was beyond flimsy, how could he put money over his own life??? We'd have all contributed all we had to make sure that he got better, heck I would have gotten two jobs while I was in school just to make sure that I was contributing something substantial to his treatment, but no, he didn't want to face his problems, he felt it would be better to make us mourn him.
I can understand that sometimes life becomes a little too much for us to handle, but that's why you have friends and family, there are special hotlines for counseling people who want to kill themselves, so why on earth would anyone still kill themselves. I mean just look at the lead singer of Linking Park, maybe he was going through hell, maybe he just wanted attention, I don't know, but what I do know is that he left a wife and 6 kids wondering why their husband and father decided killing himself was a better option than growing old and watching them grow up.
I just can't see suicide as anything other than cowardly, I really can't and despite what anyone is going through, I won't forgive you if you decide to kill yourself instead of reaching out to your friends and family for help. There is absolutely nothing brave about killing yourself, the two words suicide and brave shouldn't even be used in the same sentence!!!
I hope this helps.
Both, ideally. Two things have come up to a person when he is facing suicidal issues.
Its a coward move to escape the challenge, problems, struggles and trials you are facing. I understand that we have different burden in our hearts and I can't deny the fact that the intensity it brings is totally different to mine. But escaping those via suicidal is a clear act of being coward. Instead of focusing on the solution on how to overcome it, they're too afraid to deal with it thinking "suicide" is the best and easy answer to resolve the problem. To think, one has actually haven't resolved the problem. He actually just escaped the problem.
Of course, its a brave move knowing that your life is at stake. We value our own lives simply because it is the reason why we live. It is the reason why we enjoy the things in this world and be able to see it. Its a brave move because you know your life will be out if you do it but since you know it is an instant solution to escape, you did it anyway. Ending your life is a brave decision that you'll suffer forever.
I cannot resist paradoxical questions.
The answer here, is both!
Many people view suicide as an act of cowardice. The inability to cope, and the ultimate sign of "giving up."
On the other hand, it takes a certain bravery to complete such a task successfully. To know you are ending your own existence, and have the courage to carry out this act, shows character to a degree.
I would argue that if one possessed this kind of courage, they need to pull their head out of their asses and direct that courage somewhere productive.
Suicide is an permanent solution to a temporary problem!
I have encountered my own struggles with suicide. There was a time in my life when I felt hopeless, I continually relapsed on alcohol, I could seem to find no purpose, until my last attempt. It became clear to me, the day I woke up from an inebriated state, bearing sight to the unsuccessful loading of a shotgun, that there was a purpose for me, and that was the last time I ever indulged in the use of alcohol. The experience was so profound, I have never taken a sip of alcohol since. I'm truly grateful to have experienced this. Who would have thought that a suicide attempt would save my life!
Not everyone is lucky enough to have such an experience.
If you or someone you know if struggling with suicidal thoughts, please consider utilizing the National Suicide Prevention line. It's free to use, and there are operators working 24/7 to talk with person's in crisis.
I feel it's important to share this resource. I don't ever assume the merit or basis for a question like this, but I chose to share this just in case!
Neither as the consequences to yourself as you perceive them are no longer relevant. What is perceived by those contemplating that act it will be subjective and liable to change dependent on a future situation in which that person may consider the act.
No, individuals who submit suicide are definitely not fearful.
They have persevered through more than you'll ever know, conveyed more torment than I can enough express, and they're depleted. Worn out. Tired of living in boundless agony. Done.
They're fearless for making it to the extent they did, they're solid for enduring this damnation called life for whatever length of time that they did. Individuals who submit suicide aren't weak in the scarcest. What they are is broken, cool, vacant, lost, alone, and edgy for an exit plan.
An approach to end the agony for the last time, on the grounds that perhaps the sun does rise, yet what happens when it sets once more? What at that point? The vast majority who submit suicide are battling their evil presences the main way they know how.
What's more, despite the fact that it's not battling according to society, trust me, it is. Composing a note, saying farewell for the last time, killing oneself to at last end the agony? It probably won't be the best decision, yet it's unquestionably not fearful.
I don't think it is either. In my opinion it is more of an escape from some deep pain that someone is tired of suffering with. If you get to the point of suicide then you have some demons that you can no longer deal with internally. Other people do not matter at that point.
Issue is, if there's anything we people abhor, it's demand we don't have answers to. (On the off chance that you question it, consider that the whole verbose nature of TV and Netflix game-plan depends upon this single quality!) This feebleness to stand unanswered demand is both our most imperative quality and shortcoming. It's what pushes us to the learning and bits of discovering that edge the initiate of theory and science and history, and essentially every field of information that we have. In any case, every so often, we're so fiery for answers that we'd in a perfect world a rubbish reply over none utilizing all methods (as needs be, fear breathed life into thoughts in abundance).
In any case, among unanswered demand, for what reason is suicide an extraordinary case? To illustrate that, enable me to utilize a depiction from PTSD inquire about.
PTSD is post-terrible weight issue, the honest to goodness tension condition that is found in two or three people after a vital (once in a while risky) occasion, similar to war, strike or differing sorts of ruthlessness to a man or their friends and family. PTSD in like way occurs in individuals who have encountered dangerous events, at any rate disclosures are that it's likelier after occasions including a human blameworthy gathering.
For what reason is this?
Actually, in light of the route that as frightening as say, a shiver or a surge can be, there's kind of a variation from the norm to it. You feel frightening that it occurred, yet it's an "it." Even when the "it" is a creature, there's still some haphazardness to that. Precisely when it's a man, there's the dread, of what occurred and furthermore of knowing… This. Wasn't. Erratic.
Somebody looked, and hurt you. It's not optional. It's as they say, to a great degree precious. Basically that without any other person's info makes it like a hundred times more heartbreaking.
Eventually take that and apply it to suicide, and one can perceive any inspiration driving why we respond to individuals who end their lives as though they've given the straggling remains of us one mammoth everlasting finger: it's repulsive to us when somebody butchers another person, at any rate it just feels altogether more unsavory when somebody takes their own one of a kind life. I think we feel like they submitted murder and escaped with it in the meantime.
(That, by possibility, is extremely suicide used to be seen, and it's the reason old law codes used to make attempted suicide a terrible conduct: in endeavored suicide, the future "killer" didn't escape. Also, would you trust it, it's 'in the not too distant past like that in Nigerian law!)
It's out and out self-evident, can we basically concur on a particular something, at this moment?
Suicide isn't about you.
It's not about your emotions. For the wellbeing of hell, suicide is a man who simply left the world. In addition, let be direct, a broad bundle of us have had examinations of leaving the world. (If you're one of only a cluster phenomenal sorts of people who haven't, well done. Moreover, you should need to close-lipped regarding it when you're talking with the general population who have—uncovering it to them would be really similar to that perceiving your nonappearance of a drinking issue at an Alcoholics' Anonymous social event.)
As I was communicating, escaping life is something huge amounts of us have considered in the long run. We most likely won't have contemplated doing it without anyone's help, yet rather we have in any event on some event or other, discovered attracting the probability of it by a few strategies simply occurring. (As effortlessly as would be reasonable, thankful. Essentially getting by can be a fight enough without deserting it in more torment than totally fundamental.) And I'm communicating this, not to downplay suicide, but rather to express my own exceptional affectability for it.
What I'm attempting to state is, I get suicide.
What's more, in the occasion that you're as a rule clear, you most likely get it as well. (On the off chance that it's not all that much inconvenience endeavor to remain confirmed.)
So why on the planet do we continue responding to news of suicides like somebody completed our lives when they take theirs?
I'm tricked to state perhaps we're envious of them and embarrassed that we're rapacious, so we're overcompensating by getting bothered about it. Regardless, that sounds too cheesily Freudian.
Suicide when in doubt is neither extremist nor uncertain. It is the restless exhibition of a distraught individual, and that is all it is.
Consider, selfish people don't butcher themselves since they require more for themselves. They wouldn't benefit by their own one of a kind passings. Do pigs or officials butcher themselves?
Likewise, consider this: it takes tremendous boldness to end your existance. Any person who has endeavored knows it is by unfathomable (without leaving a possible technique to survive). You should be brave to make sure to stand up to stunning anguish — and the helplessness of a real existence following passing.
Restless people, of course, may be out of decisions. This suggests there is no choice, which nullfies what kind of personalty they have.
i Believe It is a form of bravery that is unnecessary,,but it is bravery because it is not easy for a person to Kill himself or herself intentionally without any remorse...
See, I hear this question a lot. And most especially after reports of suicide in the media, like now, in the wake of the recent suicide in by a medical doctor in Lagos, Nigeria. And even though I totally get it, it’s still the wrong question.
Problem is, if there’s anything we humans hate, it’s questions we don’t have answers to. (If you doubt it, consider that the entire episodic nature of TV and Netflix series is based on this single trait!) This inability to stand unanswered questions is both our most important strength and weakness. It’s what pushes us to the knowledge and insights that form the basis of philosophy and science and history, and basically every field of knowledge that we have. But sometimes, we’re so eager for answers that we’d rather a rubbish answer than none at all (ergo, conspiracy theories aplenty).
But among unanswered questions, why is suicide a special case? To explain that, allow me to use an illustration from PTSD research.
PTSD is post-traumatic stress disorder, the severe anxiety condition that is seen in some people after a major (often life-threatening) event, like war, rape or other forms of violence to a person or their loved ones. PTSD also happens in people who have experienced natural disasters, but findings are that it’s likelier after events involving a human perpetrator.
Why is this?
Well, because as terrible as say, an earthquake or a flood can be, there’s sort of a randomness to it. You feel terrible that it happened, but it’s an “it.” Even when the “it” is an animal, there’s still some randomness to that. When it’s a human being, there’s the terror, not just of what happened, but of knowing… This. Wasn’t. Random.
Someone looked at you, and decided to harm you. It’s not random. It’s in a way, actually personal. Just that alone makes it like a hundred times worse.
Now take that and apply it to suicide, and one can see why we react to people who take their lives as if they’ve given the rest of us one giant eternal finger: it’s terrible to us when someone kills someone else, but it just feels that much worse when someone takes their own life. I think we feel like they committed murder and got away with it in one fell swoop.
(That, by the way, is exactly how suicide used to be seen, and it’s why old law codes used to make attempted suicide a crime: in attempted suicide, the would-be “murderer” didn’t get away. And, would you believe it, it’s still like that in Nigerian law!)
Suicide is not about you.
It’s not about your feelings. For crying out loud, suicide is a human being who just decided to exit the world. And let’s face it, many of us have had thoughts of exiting the world. (If you’re one of the few who haven’t, congrats. Also, you might want to keep it to yourself when you’re talking to those who have—announcing it to them would be rather like that celebrating your lack of a drinking problem at an Alcoholics’ Anonymous meeting.)
As I was saying, getting out of life is something many of us have thought about at some time or another. We may not have thought about doing it ourselves, but we have at least on some occasion or other, found appealing the idea of it somehow just happening. (As painlessly as possible, thank you very much. Life is hard enough without going out of it in more pain than absolutely necessary.) And I’m saying this, not to make light of suicide, but to express my own empathy with it.
What I’m trying to say is, I get suicide.
And if you’re being honest, you probably get it too. (Come on, be honest.)
So why on earth do we keep reacting to news of suicides like someone took our lives when they take theirs?
I’m tempted to say maybe we’re jealous of them and ashamed that we’re jealous, so we’re overcompensating by getting upset about it. But that sounds too cheesily Freudian. (And yet…)
The question that drives everyone crazy after a suicide is, “Why?”
It’s not a question for just suicide, however. It’s a question that arises every time pain arises. Every time there’s suffering, there’s the question, “Why?” (I’ve written elsewhere about why another unhelpful question when things go wrong, as well as about what’s wrong with how we think about pain.) The “Why?” question is way more frustrating with suicide, though: I think we feel like the one person who could answer our question is the same one who raised the question precisely by making themselves permanently unable to answer it!
(By the way, I’m convinced that if it suddenly became possible to email dead people, people who died by suicide would get the most correspondence. Them and maybe Hitler, except Hitler’s would be mostly hate mail and second death threats.)
But it’s not about us. Next time you hear that someone died by (or attempted) suicide, try to think of them the way you do when you hear someone has cancer. You don’t get upset. You don’t ask if they’re being brave or cowardly. You simply think (or at least I hope you think):
“Oh no! How terrible! What must they be/have been going through right now/then? How on earth will their family cope with this? What can I possibly do to help?”
(You probably also think, “Oh! What if I—gulp—get cancer too?” but hopefully you don’t make that your main focus, right?)
And it won’t kill you to also add to yourself, under your breath:
“I don’t know why they did it, and you know what? That’s okay.”