This question almost 'killed' billions of men on this earth. Many men are in a painful place and make them unable to move after marriage. When there is a conflict between his wife and mother, how do men have to take a stand? This is where a man challenges. And this is where man's maturity is tested!
As a man who is close to mother, he will tend to protect his mother. Of course this is influenced by instincts based on childhood experiences and adolescence. That's not entirely wrong. Although there is a possibility the wife will be jealous because as a husband, you cannot protect her. A man who does not have a body in front of his wife is often considered a coward. Whereas against parents, fear of being considered ungodly.
For that, you must have adult nature. There are principles that you must remember, namely:
Husband MUST protect and protect his wife and children. However, the husband still has to prioritize his biological mother rather than his wife.
The obligation of the wife is to obey all the words of the husband. The wife no longer has the responsibility to MUST obey the words of her biological parents, because the wife's duty is to obey her husband. A wife must remember that her husband has an obligation to prioritize his biological mother rather than him.
As a parent of the husband, he must have thought that the child now has a household. Parents are not allowed to influence all decisions that their children will take because there are new limitations when they are married.
Well, the three principles above cannot be done if only the husband has to run. Your wife and parents must have a common understanding regarding this matter.
This question has been a cause of controversy for ages. When a man gets married he is thorn between his mother and wife who to give more priority to. This issue arises most times when there is conflict between the wife and the mother. These two women are very important to a man but at different stages in life.
Your mother gave birth to you, nursed you, made you into the man you are today and mothers even when their sons are married still want to have that special place in their son's life not realizing that someone else has taken that place. Once a man is married, his mother becomes extended family. She is no longer his nuclear family what this means is that someone else is more closer to him now and that is his wife.
Marriage involves a man leaving his father and mother and clinging to his wife and they two shall become one. You leave your mother to become one with someone else. Your wife is you. Do you ask yourself you and your mother who is more important to you? Your wife is your better half, she is your companion. She will bear your children, you will enlarge your lineage. Your wife will be there for you through thick and thin and even when your mother finally departs this world your wife will still be here with you. She has sacrificed so much, her name, her culture, her beliefs, lifestyle etc to accept yours and become your people.
If your mother dies you will feel it but you would move on quite easily unlike losing a wife, you will feel like a part of you is gone. This is why many men die after their wives because they never got over the heartbreak. She is your everything. She is the one you make love to and satisfy your sexual urges not your mother. Yes you sucked your mother's boobs as a child, now you sleep on your wife's boob every night.
However it is wise not to choose one over the other publicly. If your wife and mother has issues, try and settle them amicably without supporting one over another. Do not allow your mother disrespect your wife in your presence and do not allow your wife disrespect your mother infront of you or publicly. Let them both understand their place and values in your life without stepping on anyone's toes.
I am a wife and also a daughter in law. When I married, both my in laws were aged. my father in law passed away in 2016 and mother in law, last month. Both my husband and myself lived with them and looked after them very well.
A husband/son should not think that he has to make a choice between his mother and wife. he should be able to show respect to his parents even more so during their last years because they deserve it and because they need it most.
He should also love his wife equally. There will be verbal exchanges and friction in any given marriage but life is like that. One should not think of friction as a personal failure and go running to the counselor for every minor issue.
Those who learn to live life harmoniously with others in any given situation are the ones who are truly rich and content. It is not the bank balance statement which makes you rich.
If the mother is displaying tantrums, make sure to pacify her and try to make her understand that you will not give in to her blackmail and instead she has to agree to you if she truly loves you.
One should also make the wife understand that parents should be respected and revered. She can at least try to reconcile with the aged parents instead of outright rejection.
First of all, We need to know what love is, who a mother is and who a wife is
Love is a strong feeling of affection towards another person, now back to your question, you asked who should we love between wife and mother...
They both deserve to be loved, they deserved everything!
The mother who carried you for nine months, breastfeed you for good four months, took good care of you from childhood till adulthood to make sure you become something good in life, is she the one worth depriving of your love???
Or your wife who bore children for you, take care of you and always support you in all your endeavors , in her you find solace and she makes sure to satisfy you in every aspect which you need her, is she the one to deprive of love??
I will say both deserved to be loved, there should be time to show love to your mother and also time to show love to your wife.. Do not let one disturb another....
Love them both.
I think you wrote the question ass ways. You do not prioritize one over the other You love them both.
The love for both may not be of the same feeling. Love comes in a rainbow of colours.
To where you owe more obligation depends on the circumstance of each relationship. There is no one way this way and it works out right, If it were so, We would love everyone equally.
Reading these questions, I think some of them should be flagged.
Who do you want to be around the most. Has that person got your interest at heart? Saying one over the other will always be wrong, cause no one knows the situation you are talking about.
A man could start having problems in his marriage if he starts contemplating on who he should give more priority between his wife and mother,i think that thought is not necessary and i believe that both the mother and wife should be shown genuine love and care and affection and the focus should never be on who to love more or not....