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Do you think that the concept of love changes through the generations?

You know this is one of those questions that you never really consider prior to coming across them, but then after you see them, you realise oh wait this really is happening. Love really has evolved--or at least transformed--over the course of centuries. I suppose it's because it's such a subtle and gradual evolution in the way it took place. Yet the effect, when you look at it and become conscious of it, and decide to examine it, is really very apparent and tangible.


You only have to pick up a Jane Austen novel, an Oscar Wilde novel and an E.L James novel (any of the terrible Fifty Shades) to realise oh my god love really has evolved. So what I'm going to do is I'll use those writers and their books and the era in which they were written for a little game of compare and contrast.

Lets start with the remarkable and forever immortal Jane Austen, who lived during 1787 - 1811--the era before the Victorians. Some of her novels are Pride and Prejudice, Sense and Sensibility, Mansfield and Emma.

Jane Austen's novels obviously deals with the trials of women and their "dependence... on marriage in the pursuit of favourable social standing and economic security". So love in Jane's era is pretty much find a man to be with, so you can be safe and enjoy some of those real estate cash.

It isn't to say it was all boring though. Of course Jane Austen's novels are full of eclat. The men there really do fall in love with the ladies even though they know that most of the time they want them for their economic reason, but granted this reason is NOT the only one. And the ladies too do fall madly in love with admirable devotion.

And of course it goes without saying that there was little side hook-ups then, way less than there is now, and girls took chastity uber seriously. Talking as a 21st Centurian we might say it all looks pretty bleak and boring, but despite all the British formality and rigidness, some of those folks then really did seem to have fun--the concrete peaceful kind.

Moving on then to the late Victorian era, via the witty and extremely humorous but fundamentally serious novels of Oscar Wilde, who lived from 1854- 1900, we'll find that we come across, with great sadness, some of the greatest prigs in human history.

I'm not exactly a fan of the Victorian period to tell you the truth. I mean I have nothing against them and some really good advances were made for human kind in that community. Plus of course their books were the bomb and all, but like if I had a choice between going back to the Stone age and the Victorian age, I'd choose the Stone Age without thinking twice.

One man who loved to satirize the rigidity and superflousness of that era was Oscar Wilde. His books mostly criticized their extreme conservativeness, ESPECIALLY regarding sexual topics. So much so that they sent him to jail for it--poor Wilde.

So love in the Victorian era was basically flirt a little on the outside but go hard when nobody is looking. I picture them as horny college kids walking around with their skirts and pants dragging on the floor too scared to show how horny they are and get laid. Just to appear pious on the outside while on the inside they're like the weirdest bunch you'll ever come across.

Then to the twentieth century!!

What can I say about this century of ours! We're weird, we're free, we're rash, we're aggressive, we're pretty dumb most of the time and what's more--we glorify our dumbness!

If it isn't obvious from my rhetoric all these while, I'd like to make it clear that I freaking love this century. I'd rather it to any of the ones in the past to tell you the truth (except some of the classic civilizations). And I know this kind of question always generates some conservative answers, so I'm also kinda glad I'm choosing to defend and glorify our era.

Lord knows we're fucked up in a lot of aspect and still have ways to go, but I say we're still among the best generations when it comes to love. A more appropriate reference than E.L James would be the art of Lorde--a musician. Her albums are the perfect representation of the rebellious and imperfectly perfect nature of love in our generation.

But since we're talking about books, well Fifty Shades of Grey is enough to show you just what love is now. If only for exemplifying that weirdness I was talking about. And what's more, we love it and we're proud of it.

(P.S I hate that book by the way.)

So yeah, love definitely has evolved over the years. Our objects of affection are also changed. We're in love now with fame and Hollywood and cars. Again Unapologetically. And it's probably this unapologetic and rebellious nature that mostly fascinates me, seeing as I mostly don't subscribe to most of it anyway. But I just love the fact that we rebel and we don't care. It's pretty great if you ask me.

And of course there's more freedom regarding whom to fall in love with. Although again like I said, still have a lot of rooms for improvement in these aspects.



This is a post.


Love is a bond of affection and commitment that is generated between two or more people.

There is the fraternal bond, the bond of the family, and that of a couple.

The bond of love in the couple is defined as a decision that is made from an internal knowledge of what one seeks and wants. The decision is made from the emotional independence that the subject has, the more emotional independence you have, the better your decisions will be.

What is cultural is the way of expressing it but love has always existed and will always exist because it is something human. Love will always be the same but its way of expressing it is changing from generation to generation and its culture.

It should not be confused with infatuation (hormonal discharge that alters behavior) or with attachment (extreme need to be with the idealized person, losing individuality and well-being by linking it directly to another person). The love must be if or if corresponded, otherwise it is not love, and must start from self-love, where the person does not seek to be completed with another person but seeks to have a support and a partner in his life that drives him in his projects and purposes, and at the same time I can bring the other person in his life and on his way.

Commitment and free choice are two characteristics of true love that must be fully met to identify it as such.


Yes, I believe.

Generations have trend and something that they are generally different. Maybe the feeling of "love" and being "in love" doesn't change but the things of doing it is generally different over these years. As a person who loves traditional love-mating, our current generation is not in total belief of that anymore.

Like for example in our country, when you court someone there are a lot of things to do and feelings are just an initial step. You need to please her, her family, her friends and most importantly be consistent.

1. Pleasing her

You do things to pursue her. Efforts and attention is always the thing a woman needs. Fame? Money? It's just some illusion that every material woman do. All they want is to have you and her alone.

2. You need to court her parents too

A visit to their house bringing something they could it. Chocolates might be or even just you taking courage to face her parents is enough for some. They All they want is just sincerity and commitment. That's what parents do. They need to secure their daughter's future.

Right now, we're missing the number 2. As long as the feelings are mutual, you can go both in a relationship without asking parents consent. That's kind of a weird for me maybe because our culture is used to that kind of way.


Yes. As evidenced by how love is portrayed during courtship, marriage, and divorce from movies. Different generations in films are the perfect example of how the media and society projects what love is or ideally be during their time. Love is subjective and anything subjective can change over time. The same goes for the meaning of life, death, and purpose. What is acceptable now maybe rejected tomorrow or vice versa.


This is a very good one. To answer it, one has to an insight on the yardstick of measuring love that is, if it can even be measured. I believe there are no standardized measures on what love even is. We have different measurements of what love is.

Different strokes work for different folks but I think our upbringing or should I call it our background have a major role to play when it comes to our concept of love.

For a family where violence is a norm, very little gestures are considered as showing or expressing love,for that kind of a family the concept of love is now standardized based on how better or happier the next generation can attain, it can get worse though but then again there's no general standards of measuring love.

Some persons have not even felt what love is but will definitely have a concept of what love should be or how love should be expressed.

Yes! The concept of love is dynamic. Gone are the days in the south of Nigeria, where only giving your child the right education is a means of expressing love; where parents have to make certain their wards get the right footing in terms of education only. These days parents have to go the "extra" mile to also protect their children from the "dark" side of the society like the internet which is a crucial part in upbringing. They have to educate them to use the internet and get used by it, they have to train them to be streetwise and yet classy,well, if you ask me that's a task, a difficult one on its own.

Gone are the days in the Northern parts of Nigeria where looking for the right "Alhaji" for your child to be married off to is seen as an expression of love, these days, protecting your child from practices such as arranged marriage and proper "education- ing" of the girl child is held high as a standard of loving your children.

Generally, gone are the days for a married man to be regarded as showing love only by providing the basics like shelter and food for his family, these days, getting involved in the daily intricacies of his immediate family is regarded as love.

Yes! The concept of love changes with different generation but then again it can only be confirmed if the concept of love is standardized and stowed away in our hearts for different generations to meet only then,can we determine or say that the concept changes. But looking onto it, why would we want to turn something so beautiful into something scrutinized and gutted? Is it to know for sure if the concept of love is getting diluted or better as generation passes or to determine its dynamics?

To fully answer the question, different strokes sure works for different folks.


Love is the feeling that a person's happiness is very important to you, and the way you show this feeling in your behaviour towards them.I think The concept of love changes through the generations Has been Changed.From Tinder to text message breakups, a lot about our dating habits presumably baffles generations that came before us—generations which usually relied on face-to-face contact when meeting, and dumping, significant others. But it seems the generational differences aren't only about technology. it's more apt to say that today's approach to relationships in general has shifted considerably from the days when My mom and dad were just getting to know each other.

People nowadays do not understand or realize what true love is, it has just become a common thing to love and break up,if someone really loves the other person they'll go to any extent to be with them.

In fact, I ran into a friend of mine, and they shared a great story with me. She met a guy. Almost immediately, he invited her away. The guy didn't know who she was at all, but he fell for the idea of her. She was actually going through a bad time and wasn't looking for someone. This guy didn't seem to care. He'd fallen for the idea of what she was like. She's hot, and that was enough to get this guy hooked. He didn't listen to her, he didn't connect with her, and he didn't listen to her heart.

We have great intuition. But we never learn to trust that intuition because you're not in complete and utter romance with ourselves. We've never truly fall in love with ourselves. We've never allowed ourselves to let go. We've never been seduced by our own minds. We've never been to the bowels of our heart, and discovered what love really means. So It's Completely true that The concept of love changes through the generations Has been Changed...Cheers!