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What is the most disturbing truth about marriage?

First of all, before I answer your question I want to address it. Now, from your question I can deduce that to you, marriage has a negative connotation, which I do not believe to true.

Marriage is neither good or bad, however, the motive towards it or the purpose to which the concept of marriage was made to achieve is good. It is one that should better the lives of the people engaged in it. However, what might give it its negative connotation are the actors-- the people who practice or imbibe the concept of marriage. There are people who are happily married and they are people jumping from one marriage to another, so it is neither purely good or bad. It is what the people in it make of it.

So in the worst case scenarios, marriage will be a terrible thing when one or both people (this is me restricted it to this number, it can be more) try to manipulate or take advantage of the other. This is one of the reasons people divorce.

The second thing would be infidelity. Marriage is an agreement and one of the terms of this union is that you stay faithful. If you go against this it most certainly will end things.

There are many more reasons why people fall out of love but I just listed the primary ones.

Reiterating my earlier statement: marriage is neither good or bad, however, does who choose to go into determining their experience. And since marriage is between two or more persons, it is hard for just one person to determine how well or bad it can be for them. So maybe I can say this is one of the harshest realities of marriage-- not been in total control.


That it is a life-long commitment to sharing every important aspect of our lives with someone who we cannot fully know and whose possibly changing into something different over time we cannot predict or control. Because marriage has a pretty high failure rate (divorce is not the only way in which a marriage can fail), I'd say getting married is, in most cases, like almost like buying into an ICO without much due diligence. The metaphor of marriage as a haven is not very accurate at all. Marrying someone is setting sail to the unknown. In terms of having skin in the game, marriage is second only to having children.


Individuals believe it's changeless. All things considered, it isn't - 

The moment you realize something is yours eternity, you quit esteeming it. I hear it so frequently from a great many people, in these exceptionally words - "Do you pursue the transport subsequent to getting it?". 

The point they are attempting to make is that once you are hitched you have the individual. That individual is lawfully bound to you. You presently can quit pursuing them. They will be there with you for whatever remains of your life. 

When you wed, this is the feeling that settles in. That marriage is the apex of accomplishment. You are currently done. You worked every one of your issues and after that at last, the accomplishment of your story gets approved through marriage. 

The aggravating truth is, marriage is only the start. Not the end. 

The moment you quit esteeming the individual, the individual will feel disgraceful. No big surprise I see a ton of couples being mean and snide to one another for their entire lives without understanding the insult that they do to each other and the relationship. 

The greatest mystery of marriage is - The other individual is never really yours. They can leave when they need. On the off chance that they choose to consume their time on earth with you, they are settling on a decision which you should regard as a blessing. They are giving you the endowment of their time. Most significant thing any individual can give another. 

Along these lines, underestimating someone else, which is the coherent follow-up of "being bound lawfully together perpetually through marriage" is to a great degree irritating. This is the thing that breaks generally relational unions. 

The main way you can work around it is acknowledging it in your gut that the other individual is never really yours. It's a blessing. 

2. Marriage won't work just on affection - 

This is another reality about marriage no one will let you know. Cherishing is altogether different from similarity. You require similarity for a marriage to endure. Love isn't sufficient. 

3. Marriage has staleness 

Marriage needs to adjust to changing identities to endure. 

Most relational unions I have seen are stale. For the past ages, that wasn't an issue. I see my folks and they are consummately fine with a cold association as long as the essentials are dealt with. They don't look for interminable fellowship, kinship, love, sex, similarity, scholarly similarity, anything. For them, in a man, acquiring limit and capacity of assume liability were the main two things that made a difference. In a lady, cooking aptitudes and capacity to deal with the home made a difference. Everything else was reward. 

With our age it's extraordinary. We need kinship, friendship, sexual and scholarly similarity, everything. Once in a while the weight is so high and the desires quite unreasonable! Be that as it may, for the individuals who have sensible thoughts as well, marriage is tied in with adjusting. That is diligent work. Endeavors. Individuals change constantly. Marriage should adjust.