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WHAT factors decide/influence how many children you want to have?
Accessibility to quality education, fairness of society, national policies etc.


  1. I think the first and foremost thing to consider is that the decision about the number of children a couple should have, has to be taken by the wife. It becomes the responsibility of the husband to give her the space and value her opinion because giving birth is one of the most painful experiences a female can have in her life. Also to keep in mind the fact that she has to take care and carry the baby in her womb for 9 months. The mother has to go through many changes physically and mentally in her life when she is ready to conceive a child. Not only can it get very exhausting but taking delicate care of the child for the next few months is also an equally critical period as a mother.

2. Second thing to be taken into consideration is the financial aspect of the family. Many women feel the need to take sabbatical from work for a few years so to have a desired upbringing of their children, which can put a financial strain on the whole family. Also it depends upon what kind of lifestyle you imagine to give to each of your children and for yourselves. If you are content with a normal and stress free lifestyle and can afford all your children's education fees than you can think of having three or more off springs. But if you can't compromise on your luxury or have some the future concerns on whether can you afford education or not, I think a single child or two can also help you in leading a dream life. 

3. Third and most overlooked part is not analyzing and forecasting the status of global economy and present consumption of our mother earth's resources. If the rate of increase in global population does not steady in future you have to keep in mind that the amount of facilities or resources each individual can get is going to shrink day by day. 

Even after disregarding above points, I believe any couple actually know within their hearts the number of children they can have to lead a content and satisfied life. 



In terms of wanting, many factors should be taken into account (Kouba01 has already mentioned some important ones) if people want to be responsible parents. In terms of having, some intangibles may get on your way and you may end up with more or less than those you initially wanted.

Personally, I have 5 children. My first son was the result of a passionate relationship of two teenagers who had no idea what they were getting into. I was starting college, she had just dropped HS. We did not get married, I did not drop college and our parents assume the responsibility of helping us raise that boy until we were financially independent. We did eventually and even though we did not live together we kept a good friendship that allowed my son to join me and my first wife when I went to the States to pursue graduate studies.

With my first wife I had two daughters who came at the right moment. While living in the States they had everything guaranteed in terms of basic needs, medical attention, education, and a healthy environment to grow. Age-wise, we were in our late 20s/early 30s, Marriage was strong then, thus emotional needs were also covered.

But, life is complicated, or else we complicate it, and my first marriage ended. I ended up “adopting” my son’s mother’s second child, a girl, whose father had disowned her and was in need of medical insurance. So, this now 11-year old girl became, legally and affectionately, my 4th child. Eventually, I remarried and my second wife had a 6-year-old daughter. She is 14 now and she calls me father and I call her daughter. She has been a lovely blessing to help me cope with the separation from my first two daughters, who I see now only occasionally.

Thus, even though ideally, we should consider love, age, financial resources, environment and personal/professional projects as the main factors to decide how big of a family we want, chances are that you’ll end up a different outcome. Mutual love is ultimately the decisive factor. If both parties love each other beyond mundane limitations, plans and visions can be made and kept, always thinking about what is best for the future of the kids and the family as a whole. 


1. The totality of various types of resources my wife and I have at our disposal for raising our children. Money, energy, time, emotional capacity etc. Our resources set an upper limit to the number of children we can be good parents to.

2. Another limiting factor is how much joy we get from parenthood vs. other things in life that we enjoy. Parenthood limits our ability to do some things we enjoy doing. With children you need a larger home, buy more food and clothes which growing children need a lot of, to buy toys and pay for hobbies, and dedicate time for your children. All those expenses cannot be used for travel or our own hobbies or they make it impossible to make ends meet with a reduced work week. With kids and a lot of fixed expenses we have a lot less say over the kind of work we have to do.

3. The stresses and responsibilities of parenthood. When you're a parent you want to and are expected to do a good job. It's sometimes difficult. Kids can cause you a lot of trouble, too.



Hello sir, my name is ubay. i live in indonesia. i am 25 years old and i am not married right now, but, i am a children who have a parents that divorced.

Ok, now i will answer your question. as a children that have a parents who divorced. I would like to tell you. Before we decide to have a children we need to :

1. We need to have a plan. Yea we do not just a produce a child, but we need a plan.  We need to think all the aspects that make a good child. so what the aspects?

a. We need to have a good economic. yea before the child born. we need to think that we have enough economic to care a child. for the example. we need enough money to prepare his birth in the hospital. we need to think about his clothes, place, and the milk 

b. We need to think about his education. Education is number 1 in this world. without education your child will be fail in any aspect.  He/she can not get a good job or maybe married with a girl. so the education is so important

c. You need to give a morality and religion education. To be a good human, you need to teach about them. without that your child maybe will be a rich man, but he/she will corruption or do something wrong without moral and religion. so teach your child about that

d. You need to keep the Environment. The environment is so important to your child, you need to choice where the place he will be it. for the example. where the school that he go.  Where the place that he will got a friend. This is so important because your child will take the effect of where the environment he/she is

So that is my opinion about your question. Before you decide how many children do you have, you need to think about these

1 Comment

I will never have children as I couldn't imagine being able to support more than myself. My parents divorced. Every relationship I have been in has ended, even when everything seemed to be perfect. I wouldn't want to put my own children through the custody battles and parental arguments that I went through. It would just be unethical to bring any children into the world.

1 Comment

The top priority of me deciding how many children I have to bear is to consider how I am capable of supporting those kids. They deserve to life a life truly wonderful and that I am dedicated to raising them with the standards of living.

Another thing to consider is how capable are we in raising those kids in terms of time and efforts. Do we have an adequate time to focus on making them grow? Or can we be able to provide maximum efforts of being with them grow?

Lastly, is to think if we can be able to catch up their growing needs as they grow. Can we be able to support their needs if we have these amount of children? 

So to sum-up, I'm good of having 2-3 kids for a lifetime.


My ability to provide for them the most quality life is what will determine the number of kids I'm going to have. As a parent, it's my desire to give my kids the best. I don't want to bring kids into this life that will suffer. I want to lay a very solid foundation that my kids can easily build upon. So I'm trying to bring only the number of kids that I can confidently take care of and guide to become a wonderful adult.

I don't want my kids to pass through same stress I passed through, so I'm gonna lay a foundation for them to build on


To plan (or not plan) how many children to have, one must consider the following factors:

1. Your wishes as a couple.

Having a child is a monumental decision, and if both partners are not sold at the same number, tension and resentment may arise.

Talk to your spouse. In fact, let the discussion take place over several years. Let this decision unfold on your table for a while without anything convenient to land.

2. The age and health of women.

The best age for a woman to have children is between 20 and 35 years old, beyond that is possible but harder.

3. The age and health of men.

Men are biologically capable of producing much older children. However, the primordial fluid of a man, the necessary number of children producing children decreases each year of his life. Babies born to older men also have an increased risk of genetic disorders.

4. Your finances.

Having a baby is not cheap, but when your baby arrives, you find that the financial situation is not as bad as it appeared at the beginning. It's amazing how you can make ends meet when you put your heart into it.

Yet having each child will cost you dearly. Every child needs diapers and wipes, clothes, toys, strollers, medicine, food and health insurance. You may need to buy a car or a bigger house.

5. The temperament of your marriage.

The temperament and stability of a marriage also comes into play. Educating well takes a lot of patience, love and flexibility. If a wedding is on the rocks, then the kids will feel this storm.

6. The question of individual attention.

If your family is bigger, your time with each child is necessarily thinner.

It's a compromise. Thinking positively, at Christmas you have either a happy child with a lot of presents, or you have a generation of happy children who all play with oranges and wrapping paper.

²Sometimes you make your list and consider all the pragmatic factors, but your decision always depends on what can not be put on paper.

It could be an instinctive feeling. It could be faith. This could be simply articulated as "you know when you know".


By the accompanying criteria, generally in a specific order:

Prosperity of existing youngsters (e.g. my future spouse and I concur that it is desirable over be raised together with a kin, as opposed to being a single youngster)

Anticipated and current prosperity of the mother (I won't put the life of my future spouse in danger)

Budgetary limit (I would not deliberately placed youngsters into this world, who I realize that we can't sufficiently accommodate)

Sensibility (in the event that we couldn't deal with the current number of youngsters, for what reason would we add to that? Notwithstanding the motivation behind why … ideally this will never be the situation)

Individual inclination (this is somewhat of a subset of sensibility; as of now, it appears my life partner and I would want to just have 2– 3 youngsters, add up to)

Our joy (on the grounds that the bliss and prosperity of any of our youngsters supplants our own; to a certain point, obviously; no kid would need a parent that is absolutely hopeless, which turns us back to the joy of the tyke being more essential)