Do you think it is healthy for a couple to abstain from sexual relations before marriage?
There are those who think that a couple should be pure before getting married and other people think that they should be known in all areas, even sexually to know if there is compatibility and take that big step.

I will give you a real life story, and i think i have written this same story before to answer a similar question.

A young couple from one christian church decided to embark on a no pre marital sex untill on their wedding night. The guy was much older Than her.

Even under serious temptation, when the woman tried to make advances, to atleast feel "the member" , who will be uniting with her member, the guy strongly objected. True it rose anticipation and eagerness for the wedding night magic.

They had a beautiful wedding, and i am sure the woman could not just wait for it all to end so the members could finally unite, legally.

That night, she came to a disturbing and very disappointing realization that her husband barely had anything down there. Her husband's member hardly showed its masculinity while erect., and its at that moment when it all hit her, she came to a painful conclusion of why this man was not yet married, at the age he was and why he was the one who strongly advocated for no pre marital sex, and now, here she was, stuck in a "untill death do us apart" situation. How will she be happy in this marriage when her sexual needs are not met? Even i wonder.


I'm in the camp that advocates getting to know your potential marriage partner in that sense, too. If you just don't click in that department at all, your marriage can end in disaster. But of course, your culture may be totally against premarital sexual relations leaving you no choice but to buy a pig in a poke.


I again am probably in the minority here but I personally believe that a couple must have a good and healthy sex life first before marriage.

There are just many things that opens up after sex. So many questions answered and so many what-ifs and unknowns known. And idk if it's just me but being compatible with your partner is really important in a relationship. It's not really about lust but more like the satisfaction you could get from your partner. Sex is on top of Maslow's psychological hierarchy of needs for a reason. Because it's important.

The simple act of having sex also allows the two to know each other more. So it might be healthy physically (you both are sure clean from any diseases) but it doesn't mean it will be healthy to the relationship.


A relationship before marriage is just testing out if you are suitable for each other. So having sex should be normal and expected, only if you're serious about the relationship. You have to know if you enjoy each other that way before you seal the deal.

A lot of people don't like to admit it, but sex is very important in a relationship, and if you don't try it out before marriage, you might be disappointed.


I don't think it makes a difference, but I've never been married either. 

I do believe in the "try before you buy" idea when it comes to relationships. I know this might sound shallow, but sexual chemistry is a real thing, and you may not know that it's lacking between you and a potential husband if you don't try ahead of time. That sets the stage for a pretty miserable life if you ask me. If you happened to have an terrible sex life, you've already tied the knot.

If it goes against your religion, maybe you should wait, but I feel life is to short to wait to experience the simple pleasures of life. My logic likely could, and probably is considered wrong by many in this regard, but its my opinion, and it's not likely to change. 


I don't think that can possibly be healthy unless they're both asexual or something. People shouldn't get married or even enter into a long term relationship unless they are sexually compatible. But again, I guess this assumes that both people enjoy sex. But if they don't click sexually, one or both might end up looking elsewhere. Well, chances are that one of them may already be doing that if the other insists on waiting.


I do not agree with that. Sex is a big part of a relationship and you need to know if you are compatible there or you will for sure have a failed marraige or at least a miserable one. You don't buy a car without test driving it do you?

If i am going to spend the rest of my life with someone I am making sure everything is good to go. 

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Biblically, its not healthy.

Sex is not just having intercourse with the opposite gender all in the name of fun or pleasure. Its a spiritual covenant made between those that are involved. Its like telling each other I accept everything you have including blessings and curses.

Blessings and courses can be inherited through intercourse, that's why the Bible instructed we should FLEE FORNICATION. Not to run but FLEE.

Questions might arise, what if after marriage one of the couple's member is deformed. Just like a lady sighted a story.

Well, thats were the marriage council in the Christian session failed to play their role if they actually went for marriage counseling.

A couple intended to get married are supposed to go for counseling. Where they are told to carry out series of tests such as Retroviral screening, Genotype, Blood Group, Fertility and the rest of them.

With the result from these tests, the marriage council can draw conclusion if they are compatible or not before they can proceed.

Also abstaining from sex before marriage also saves a family from unforseen things. It helps to keep the family in a solid Christian foundation.


Sex is sex and marriage is marriage. Two totally different things for totally different purposes and none of the both has to include or exclude the other.


To each their own...

(Though I sure as fuck would NOT say so, personally.)