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Why do some women look for men who share similarities with their parents?

This is True, i have come across many women who want to marry a man that has similar characteristics as their dad, this is positive influence.

I have recently been advised by a friend to notice and see how my potential future partner treats and values his mother,. Specifically to notice how he was brought up, the environment , etc. according to her, the way he treats his mom and the females in his house hold will reflect on the way he will treat me as his partner/wife. That will reflect back on how his parent's brought him up.

I have seen and heard of stories where women end up with abusers because they grew up seeing the animosity between their parents and someone believe that, that's how a woman should be treated. Negative influence.

Back to your question, i believe most women who have been brought up by great dads, have seen and been taught values of how a woman should be treated and hence tend to look for such strong points in finding a man. They already have standards and in built understanding of the ideal man, using her father as an example.

1 Comment

I think that happens to everyone to one degree or another whether we realize it or not. We inherit half of our genes from the parent whose sex is the same as ours. To the extent genes have anything to do with mate preferences, we are likely to share them with out mothers or fathers to some degree. There's also learning. Our parent's own relationship is the first relationship between a man and a woman we get to witness up close. As every girl tends to identify with her mother and every boy with his father, it would be hardly surprising that we end up copying them in our life choices as adults. Of course, the opposite may happen if the relationship with the parent of the opposite sex is somehow strained. Or our mate selection might be based on something else altogether. But I wouldn't be surprised if there were statistical correlations between at least some important traits of our opposite-sex parent and those of our spouse.


We follow the trace of what is familiar to us; this is our instinct: we have survived that, so our unconscious is positive we'll be safe once again. This for one thing. For the other, it has to do with familiarity alone, even when it is not good for us. We are that kind of creature. 

There is a scene in "Coraline and the Secret Door" (book by Gaiman, movie directed by Selick) where the child tries to escape, so she starts running away from the house and into a mist, only to find herself coming back to the house really soon. This metaphor represents quite well what we do in life: we think we are running away from our roots/home/parents, but we are heading directly to what we think we are shunning. This is because the way are raised, the experiences that we live build our true character; it always shows in the end.


Not boy, do not believe everything you read on Facebook. Certainly our father is our first influence but that does not mean that it was good, (considering that there are parents who abuse their daughters), or that it was the only one (many of us grow up surrounded by uncles, cousins, grandparents, great uncles, nephews , etc)

Some of us recognize desirable traits that were in our father (being disciplined, performing housework, solicitous, supportive, etc.) and that we would like to find in our partner, just as there are traits of our father that we would never have had our partner (being irascible, rude, macho, violent, etc.) and we even fled to that kind of people, for example, when I hear some homophobic person, he reminds me so much of my father, sadly, he reminds me.


Oh well. I wouldn't say this is completely true. If you're born into a family that leaves you with memories that are full of pains. I don't think you would wish for a man who act like your father or mother or have similar characters like your parents.

I wouldn't rate it right now because I do not the percentage but I do know majority of us sometimes want a man is the opposite of their parents or themselves. Now, if you're blessed to have parents whose relationship is perfect, then definitely you tend to be looking out for a man who has similarities with your parents.

If my father is ambitious and a successful man, of course I have part of his genes too so automatically I'm looking out for a man who possesses such qualities.

But if my father is a "panelbeater", by that I mean someone who abuses his wife. Now if I'm not affected by this, I wouldn't be looking out for a man who possesses such qualities. So I do believe that when a woman is searching for a man who share similarities with her parents then she sure came out from a wonderful home because not all parents are worthy being like or following their steps.


Unresolved daddy issues. 😈